Gay... but questioning

I also deal with this I'm also gay and I know that I love women. The other part of me doesn't want to forget men and wants me to try to get to like men. I think you should try to experiment with a women and see how it feels. But before you do that ask yourself if you would be comfortable kissing, or doing sexual things with a women.

 

I have and to an extent still do feel this way, though it's been gradually decreasing over time. What I've read, mainly from others on here, is that this possibly could be a form of mental resistance and it's not unusual to suddenly start questioning yourself all over again once you feel fairly certain that you are gay.

Going along to some extent with what Lis has suggested, as well as the fact that, I believe, you yourself mentioned that in your previous relationships with women you didn't have the urge to do anything physical with them [apologies if I remember that incorrectly,] just think about whether you simply admire feminine beauty and enjoy their company as friends or if you actually desire a relationship with one [and all that entails.]

Though I've still a long ways to go, what has helped me, personally, is being aware of the difference, though slight at the moment due to my social inexperience, when I think about men as opposed to women. When I notice women, it's basically just a 'gut reaction' and more that I'm noticing those who are traditionally attractive or have something about them which makes them so [their hair, clothes, etc.] The thought of being with one is not disgusting to me, but on the other hand I don't get any particular pleasure out of it. Almost as if it's artificial.

When I think about being with another man, though, it's different. More natural, even passionate [as far as pure daydreaming goes (Haha,)] it makes me feel happy in a strange way. More so than when I used to think of what it would be like having a girlfriend or wife back when I was grade school. It seems more 'real.'

Afraid I rambled too much again, but I hope this helps all the same.

 

I've been going through this exact thought process for about a month now. I've known I was gay, and have been able to admit it to myself for about a year, but I have been worried that my thoughts or actions influenced it in some way.

On one hand, I feel like I might be doing a lot of things that might make me prone to thinking I'm gay (getting nervous around gay guys, idolizing gay guys and couples, always looking for the 'gay' in people).

On the other hand, all of those things could be part of the gradual process of coming to terms with who I am, and how I really feel. the psychological part of myself that is becoming comfortable with and accepting the fact that I am gay.

The way I looked at it was, if I'm having these thoughts and feelings, at the very least, I know I'm not straight. At that point I realized that while I can see myself in a relationship with another man, I can't see myself dating a woman. At that point I pretty much said, "Fuck it, I guess I'm gay."

I'm starting to think that there will always be a part of me that wants to be straight, since that's who I was for the last 18 years. It's difficult going through this kind of identity change. I'm still in the closet myself (to all but one person) but I very much would like to be openly gay. I'm just scared of the fact that who I am to everyone that I know, is going to be different in a pretty significant way, and there's no changing back. But I think I'm close to the point where I can really see myself as an out, gay man. Maybe it just takes time?


Um.. I kinda rambled on there, but hopefully that helped you in some way.

 

I'd think it's more likely that you're coming to terms with it. If your feelings are stronger for men than they are for women, then that's all you need to know.

If you still don't believe it, try what someone posted here before (Lex, probably). Take the next week or so. For the first 3 days, live as though you're gay. Doesn't mean you have to be flamboyant, just accept (internally) that you're gay and see how it feels. Then, the next 3 days, do the same thing but with the label "straight".

 

I think the fact that you were willing to ask yourself that question shows that you've thought it through pretty well.

 

Im gay and i was questioning myself for a while about my attraction to men more than women