How do you break down the walls of denial?

There is no easy answer here. Denial is a tricky thing, but I do believe that eventually in most cases we're forced to face the truth. Whether we want to face that truth or not, eventually it'll come and smack us in the face.

My advice is to stop trying. Stop fighting and arguing with yourself. Instead, just give yourself permission - allow yourself to feel. Take a deep breath, smile, look around the room and allow yourself to simply be who you are without judgment and without strings attached. Labels don't matter. Labeling yourself isn't the point. Being authentic with yourself is the point.

 

Aldirck’s post seems to be great advice great advices.

At some point in your life you will have to come to terms with the truth no matter how hard it may seem to be to you or how easy it may seem.

You can’t fight who you are you have to remember that you are a wonderful person and it is better to live a life of acceptance than a long lonely life of denial.
At least that is a facet from someone who has or should I say is just coming out of that unhappy please of denial.

Be yourself be happy. I wish that something like EC was around in the 70s would of made my life so much more happier.

 

Aldrick makes a great point. You will never be comfortable with who you actually are until you can accept yourself for whatever/whoever it is you are. It sounds so simple to accept yourself, but in actuality, it turns out to be quite difficult for a lot of people. If you can't do it, the first step is to try and realize what it is that's stopping you from accepting yourself. Often-times, there are a lot of barriers to acceptance that society ingrains into us without our realization. I've known gay guys who couldn't accept being homoromantic even when they knew they were homosexual. They eventually came around to it, but due to society always showing them a romantic picture of a girl and a guy together and nothing else, they had psychological barriers up that they weren't even fully aware of until they stopped and took the time to look and listen to themselves.

Good luck with it. It's really not an easy thing to do, but just be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time for it to happen, and I think you'll eventually come to know yourself well. It's definitely something you should pursue. (*hug*)

 

i tell myself say the words out loud. i allow myself the right to love women. i also say the words: allow, Queer, gay...why? because me hearing and seeing my own mouth make them and in a positive confident smiling way, it helps the bad walls i built up become erroded by trith.

i post on my laptop images i like of happy Queers and rainbows, the words Pride and Queer, and symbols on trans. the color images have a powerful positve effect on me to see as i turn on my laptop a reminder that all the time even when not on my mind im still a Queer. its really doing me good in my progression.

also i found a symbol in sterling that is not recognized generally as a trasexual or homesexual symbol, and is simple tasteful and artistic. so i wear it even though im not out! i am in libeary with it on in plane sight as i type. it is something next to my skin i cam physically touch as a personal mark for giving me courage.

denile has went down a lot. but betcha it will come back always, just like grass looks greener other side of fence. so litle words pictures and symbols are my own way to help me come into acceptance and be happy in whp God made me.

hope sharing this helps somebody.

 

Ohhhh, I rode the denial train for a long time... I SO did not want to be a lesbian, so badly that I actually still have a boyfriend (oops). It was a long, slow process accepting my gayness, so I would say the key to breaking out of denial is patience. It might not come quickly, but once you figure out who you are, you'll know. Just don't shut out any possibilities and don't rush yourself. I really hope you find what you're looking for!