Hi, I'm Josh. For a while now i have been feeling very strongly towards men. Not in a sexual manner, I dont fantasize, but I feel the same way emotionally about some men as i would about most women. I have a bisexual best friend and he constantly joks that he is just waiting for me to come out of the closet. I kissed him once when he heard that i had never kissed a guy, i hadnt thouht much of it until recently. I dont wnt to have sex with men, but i find myself emotionally attracted to them. I think I may be gay, but my biggest problem isnt coming out neccessarily. Im an overweight guy and very insecure. what happens if i come out and no one is attracted.to a big guylike me? And how do i know if i really am gay? Someone please help me.....:tears:
Hey, Josh This maybe isn't the kind of answer you were hoping for, but my suggestion would be to just be patient. It's okay not to know if you're gay or straight or whatever else right now. Not being sure can be stressful, but it's important to take your time with this kind of self-discovery regardless of what you actually discover in the end. There's no real "test" to figure out if you're gay or not. When I was trying to figure out my own sexuality, I kept trying to test myself. Like when someone walked by, I'd think, "Okay, did I find him/her attractive?" And let me tell you, it's useless. Whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, or something else, it's a natural part of who you are and will become clear in time. In the mean time, don't freak yourself out thinking that you need to figure this out right now. Just hang tight and know that there are people who support you--both in your life and on EC PS, If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about being a "big guy." The big guys of the world are just as nice, funny, smart, attractive, and lovable as the not-as-big guys
Well, if you don't find guys sexually attractive then you're probably not gay then. Don't worry about it
Hi Josh, it sounds to me that you fall under a sub-category of asexual when it comes to men. It is called homoromantic. A homoromantic asexual is a person who is romantically attracted to a member of the same sex. Homo-romantic asexuals seek romantic relationships for a variety of reasons, including companionship, affection, and intimacy. However, they do not desire sex with their romantic partner. In terms of women, if you are both romantically and sexually interested in them, you may be heterosexual for them. There is nothing wrong with having dual or multiple orientation. I "technically" have 3, depending on how you look at it. ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2012 at 07:40 AM ---------- P.S. I know a few gay men that LOVE men with your frame. I actually know of one that does these awesome comics that feature male couples involving men of larger stature. You may contact me if you are interested in checking them out. They are not pornographic for the record, they are more like romantic dramas.
I'm going to disagree with the other two posters. The majority of people who come out go through a period of self-denial. As we process any loss (in this case, the loss of identity as "straight", there are stages we go through: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. The stages are not always sequential. Denial is obvious; anger is "Why is this happening to me! I don't want it!"; bargaining is "Well, maybe i'll be attracted to guys now, but end up with a woman eventually" or "Well, ok I sorta like guys, but I'm more attracted to girls" When we are between denial and bargaining, it is very common for our unconscious to play these sort of games along the lines of "Oh, I'm not really attracted to men, I just kind of like them. We can convince ourselves that we aren't sexually attracted to them, or all sorts of other "games" our minds play. My guess is that it is safer to acknowledge to some extent that there's some kind of attraction, but avoid really exploring what that attraction really feels like. The "homoromantic asexual" thing is pretty rare, and basically is usually an avoidant tactic or an issue requiring therapy rather than a lifelong biological condition. You may find that when you start allowing yourself to believe that you might be gay that the feelings will grow stronger; that's a very common thing. Also, I can see why you'd want to not accept that you're gay (if in fact you are) if you feel like you aren't as attractive as you perceive others to be. Gay men can be incredibly shallow. But there are also an awful lot of gay men that really, really like and are attracted to chubby guys. It's a pretty common thing (and surprises many newly-coming-out gay men). So you will find, if in fact you are gay, that you'll have a lot of admirers... it's just a matter of finding where they hang out
