I am a university student, and during the summer holidays I work and live in the city. However I visit my parents on there farm at least once a month for a few days, so that they do not start coming to my work and my house, trying to talk to me, since I do not keep a cell phone. The situation is always the same, "When are you going to get a girlfriend?" "Life will make work once you find a nice girl" "Instead of doing this, you should do this because it will be better once you have kids" "I am still trying to get your sisters to find you some nice girls" "Stop worrying and thinking so far ahead, just settle down with someone first" "I think you should go here since there are a whole bunch of good looking woman there." Aaahhh! I do not want to come out to them now, or anytime soon in the foreseeable future (they would be the last ones to know, I would tell everyone else first), since they are stuck in there 1950's childhood mindset that all forms of sexuality other than their own are severe mental disorders, and the individual should be locked up in asylums. It's worse that they have this view and they are in the medical professions. (They would never say this view to a patient, however it is ingrained in their bones...) Any ways that you can help avoid these questions, instead of saying over and over, "I just am not looking right now, I will try to make my own life work first before getting so involved in another"? :bang: Any advice at all? Thank you.
You can just answer directly to each. "When are you going to get a girlfriend?" "When I find somebody I'm really interested in, trust me, I'll start dating." "Life will make work once you find a nice girl." "I'll keep my eyes peeled for one. Thanks." "Instead of doing this, you should do this because it will be better once you have kids." "I'm enjoying it just fine as it is, and I'm enjoying the freedom of not having children right now." "I am still trying to get your sisters to find you some nice girls" "I don't need any help finding dates, but thank you." "Stop worrying and thinking so far ahead, just settle down with someone first" "As soon as I find somebody I want to settle down with, trust me - you'll be the first to know." "I think you should go here since there are a whole bunch of good looking woman there." "Well, feel free to pick one out for yourself. I'm enjoying the school I'm going to." Answer as often as you need to. You're not required to give new answers. Lex
I don't really have any advice for you (my parents do the same, I just blow the questions off), but I find it strange that they are already wanting you to have kids. You're only 19, usually that's a parent's worst nightmare for their own child to have a kid while they're still a teenager.
I really really like some of the answers suggested above, especially the fact that the carefully selected words (i.e. somebody I'm interested in, someone special, dates) to them will read as "girlfriend" but you won't be lying to yourself in the process.
I really can't add anymore to this. But I am having similar problems. Just use gender-neutral terms when they ask. They will get tired of it eventually.
Not kids yet, but in a couple years. Both my older sisters (2 and 4 years older than me) are engaged and thinking of kids(one has been seeing the guy for 3 years, the oldest has been seeing the guy for 7 years), and I guess they just want me to join the group...
