OK SO HERE GOES TODAY I PACKED TWO SMALL BAGS AND LEFT MY VERBALLY ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND WHO IS ALSO A COMPULSIVE DRUNK I AM NEWLY ADDICTED TO METH IN A SEA OF DEPRESSION POZ AND NOW IVE LOST MY JOB MY PROPERTY AND EVERYTHING I STAND FOR YET HE STILL KICKS ME IN THE RIBS IM STAYING WITH A FRIEND FOR NOW BUT ITS AN UNCONFORTABLE SITUATION I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I NEED TO DO BUT I FEEL SO ALONE BARE AND LOST WHAT CAN I DO I LEFT BECAUSE I COULD TAKE THE ABUSE ANY ORE THE MORE IT HAPPENED THE MORE I USED TO ESCAPE THE RIDICULE AND TRAPPED FEELING I FEEL NOW I FEEL LIKE LEAVING MADE IT WORSE I HAVE NO GROUND NO FAMILY HOW DID I END UP LIKE THIS I WAS ALWAYS THE STRONG ONE BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE A MICROSCOPIC ORGANISIM AT THE BOTTOM OF A SEWER:help:
I'm not gonna lie, I'm not sure if you're being serious or not by the sheer ridiculousness of the situation and the overwhelming amount of capital letters. But I'll assume this is serious. First off, don't ever question yourself for leaving a situation like that, nobody deserves to be treated like that under any circumstances, and certainly not one where someone supposedly "loves" the other one. You made the right decision and I don't even need to know all the details. Secondly, you're on your way to better things. Sure, it's gonna be rough getting back on your feet, but it's infinitely better than where you were before. You say you were the strong one; you are STILL the strong one. A weak one would have given up in this situation, or worse, stayed where they were. I don't know you and you sound like an incredibly strong person, if nothing else beyond the fact that you have to live in this situation. It sounds corny, but things will get better if nothing else beyond the fact it can't get any worse. Take things one step at a time. Do you not have anyone safe you can contact besides your friend?
Echoing all this. Also, if you're addicted to meth, you need to get into some form of rehab or recovery asap - if you're staying with your friend, maybe they can help you find somewhere to go. Sorry the post is short, but I really think in this situation you need some professional help. Seeking that out, and putting yourself in a healthy situation where you can get better, is the strongest thing you can do right now.
If you plan on staying with your friend for a little while, I have some suggestions that may help if you're willing; This applies to Americans. Not a racist thing, just my lack of knowledge with international governments. 1. Ask your friend if you can receive mail at their home. If so, change your mailing address as temporary to that location. This will act as a "proof of address" you will need for most things. 2. Now that you have a proof of address, apply for state insurance. [As well as cash assistance and food stamps, but you may not have much time to use them because,] 3. You NEED to get into a POZ friendly rehab ASAP. This is where the insurance comes into play. The combination of being POZ and having a drug addiction is deadly! Drugs, including alcohol paired with the already dramatically weakened immune systems as a result of being POZ leads to a variety of life threatening illnesses, psychological and mental illness, as well as deteriorating mental states like dementia...which are irreversible. Drug rehabs that specialize in or accept POZ people will have the medications you need to treat the disease as well as the drug addiction, therapy will also be provided. 4. When you are detoxed, continue on seeing a therapist or support groups. They come in any combinations and specialties, you can find a good one for you. 5. Find a shelter, and apply for work or go to a placement agency. Most employers won't hire if you don't have a "permanent" address. Use your mailing address if your friend agreed to you changing it to their home, or get a P.O. Box. I am unsure if employers accept P.O. Boxes or not, that will be something to research. 6. If you are successful in landing a job, save up for a place of your own. You can then change your address and re-apply for state insurance and programs [cash assistance/food stamps] Public transportation should be available. If not, walk where you can, buy or borrow a bike and use it everywhere else. If being POZ prevents you from ever working once you are detoxed [as in becoming severely debilitating,] consider applying for Disability. For this, you will need a primary physician, medical records and a disability lawyer. Of course, these are suggestions. I hope they help and you can get some inspiration for a plan suitable for you. Please, please, take care of yourself, be safe. Good luck. ---------- Post added 10th Jul 2012 at 04:31 AM ---------- P.S. Also, if your state subscribes to 2-1-1, CALL THEM! 2-1-1 is a statewide service, if the state is subscribed, they provide suggestions and solutions for those in crisis. They help with housing/shelter, food, medical, rehab, suicide intervention as well as others. They are usually partnered with the resources that provide these things and may be able to set you up with or point you in the right direction to where you can find or apply for these resources. 2-1-1 is a FREE service. And if your state does not have 2-1-1, search for something similar in your location.
