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One Step Further

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kgmn, Jan 18, 2008.

  1. kgmn

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    Okay - So i am hoping this is an experience everyone can elaborate on and also give other advice.

    so at a lunch restaurant today, my friends and i went to the counter to choose what sandwiches we wanted. The guy making the sandwhiches was gorgeous - total eye candy. and he was happy and smiling, and ( probably just me flattering myself) looking at me.

    Ok, for one thing i just wanted to know how old he was. But that reminded me. For a situation like this, what do you say or do to lead things on ( to know how old someone is, hint to ask if they are interested, or anything to 'take it one step further.) Not being one to go around flirting at all, i am just curious, what do you do to make a hint. Or is this something that you let go, and just accept the eye candy and nice guy for the time being.

    ?
     
  2. beckyg

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    You should definitely stalk him. :roflmao:

    Seriously, just make small talk. Do you go in there frequently? Its kind of hard to get to in depth conversations while he's working but you can definitely find out a few things about him. Does he go to your school? Maybe there are other places you could talk to him? Do you know any mutual friends?
     
  3. kgmn

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    Haha, becky that is exactly how i feel.

    It was actually just this weird compulsive feeling that i really liked him haha. That is the thing though, i have never really felt that way about someone before, and i dont know anything about him. ( about the age... he could have been anything, young... or even 25 ugh... >_<) I want to go back and stalk lol. This is why i am posting the question.
     
  4. beckyg

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    Well going back again just to see him isn't necessarily stalking. You should definitely go back and say hi to him again and see what happens.
     
  5. sngl

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    GO BACK!! :icon_bigg

    I am in a similar situation as well. There's a guy who I think is totally hot and he works at the hair salon I usually go to. The first time I saw him I was like WOW!!:eusa_droo I went back a few times and I actually got to know him a bit better and last time we had a 15-20 min long conversation. I don't know if he's gay but I feel like there's a good chance he is. Too bad my hair doesn't grow faster.... I have to think of some other reason why I would go there except for a haircut :lol: He is just so hot :icon_bigg
     
  6. kgmn

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    Ok, So i was a bit brave haha

    So I DROVE back to the place that night... ya, he was already off work.

    BUTTTTTT, I wasn't done there haha. So for some reason i broke out of my comfort shell and sent away this intimidating male manager by saying that my friend lost a cell phone earlier in the day. While he is in the back looking for the phone ( because i dont think i could have had the courage while a 40 year old man was around haha) i talk to the female coworker. I asked her what time she worked and she was there when the guy was. So i just casually asked, " hey, you know the guy that was stationed over there earlier? How old was he?" ( i couldn't believe what i was doing haha) . She told me the answer, and by that moment, the manager was back. nope the cell phone wasnt there... ( haha, because it doesn't exist haha) and i left.... as they obviously were talking about me as i left. I bet that guy got a few jokes the next day that a high schooler was asking about him haha.

    Well, he is 23.... grrrr... def out of my league as a fresh 18 year old haha ( i think the limit subconsciously in my mind was 20 lol)
    but i guess that isnt stopping me from some eye candy from time to time.:icon_wink
     
  7. Gerry

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    That's great. At least you got some answer and even if he is out of your league I'm sure you feel proud knowing you went back... too bad he was 18 too. :lol:
     
  8. Ilayis

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    I picture youjust sitting in the corner of the resturant sipping on a drink staring at him! lol
     
  9. kgmn

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    haha, i dont want to be THAT big of a creeper :grin:.

    When I found out he was 23 i kinda laughed in my head. ( a 5 year gap gets rid of some of the fun haha)
    but, the whole scenario in QAF season 1 with that whole budding relationship of high schooler and mid twenty year old - scandeloussss :wink:
     
  10. Astaroth

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    Now I feel ancient, lol! :roflmao:
     
  11. Alexander

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    PEOPLE! Age shouldn't be that big of a deal! If you both are interested in each other, who gives a care if you are 2 years apart or 7? The age barrier only gets smaller as each of you gets older. I say, find out if he's gay, then if so, go for it anyway.
     
  12. GlindaRose

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    5 years is nothing. No, seriously, let's take a look at Celine Dion. Her husband is TWENTY-SIX YEARS OLDER THAN HER. NO JOKE. And they love each other and are happy, so 5 years is perfect acceptable. My parents are 6 years apart.
     
  13. kgmn

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    You are getting my hopes up again :wink:

    maybe there will be updates.

    keep the advise flowing :grin:
     
  14. Bromptonrocks

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    I say exactly the same as the others.....you're doing yourself out because of age?? :bang: WAKE UP!! What's your heart telling you? YOU FANCY THIS GUY, RIGHT? And you fancy him because of his looks. I can't believe you're going to let 5 years get in the way. I can possibly understand a much larger age gap but not 5 years. You want him - go for it!! Sod the age difference. It's just a number. I can't believe if he were 18 to 20 you'd have no hesitation in taking it further. Just because he's 23, does he look any different? Act any different? NO - so just do what your body's telling you to do!

    It amazes me how many guys miss out on what could be the perfect partner because of something as insignificant as an age gap - large or small. If age didn't exist you'd be asking him straight away, wouldn't you. Sorry to rant - but I hate to see missed opportunities especially after it's obvious you've "fallen" for him. Good luck.
     
  15. kgmn

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    ok,
    next step:

    I really want to go back in there and see if things can move along. I would love to have coffee or something with this guy.

    here is the thing - i need advice.
    first off, the guy probably doesn't remember me. How do I go in there and pretty much say more or less " hey, sorry for being forward, but would you ever consider going out for coffee or meeting up somewhere when you are off work. It would be great to get to meet you"...

    I feel awkward just thinking about that haha. How do I move into things smoothly? give me advice. Obviously i need a crash course on the solid 'pick up' haha. ( esp. being the younger one in the equation.)
     
  16. kgmn

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    So I just saw a few episodes of QAF and let me say that they were hott. Of interest is the relationship between brian and justin. I didn't realize till i read later that brian is 29 in the show and justin is 17... woah.

    inspiration lol :wink:
     
  17. wherewulfe

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    the strangest things work these days, try talking to him, nothing big, just small talk, find his group of friends and enjoy a small conversation with him and go from there.
     
  18. Crazyfoo

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    Do you have a job? Is that restaurant hiring?

    If they are, and you don't have a job get one there. You'll wok with him so that'll give you all time to talk. Plus you'll be getting paid.:lol:
     
  19. Zeraphath

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    Ok...my 2 cents. First, CONFIDENCE. Walk in there like you're the man (but don't overdo it) and don't let him intimidate you. It's a major turnoff for sooo many men and women. Be casual and find out what you two have in common like music or stuff. See if he's in college or something and ask about the school. This will allow you to determine what side of the field he plays for without outright asking.

    Another trick is to start regulating with some friends, especially sympathetic friends of both sexes. They can keep an eye out (more eyes the better) and see if he's checking you out or someone else. This can be used also to determine sexuality.

    I spent most of my teenage years and later hanging with gay guys and these are some of the tricks they used in situations such as this. Hopefully this helps you.