Man this sucks

Friend crushes are a tremendous burden, and most of the time people suffer through them in silence. I know your pain. I think it resonates with a lot of people here.

Funny thing is the crush that destroyed me was a guy who was gay, and single, but simply not interested in relationships for a variety of reasons. But the possibility seemed so real, and that's what made it even worse. I let it build for a year without saying anything. I still have strong feelings for him. That never fully recedes I guess.

 

Tons of people have been in this situation before. It's soooo succckkkyyyy!!! Judging by your "out status", I take it that he knows you're gay?

 

Hey, long time no see!

I cannot say that I've been in a similar situation to yours, but I have had crushes on straight people. While it sucks, you don't have to tell them. Nor do they need to know.

You're already out to him, and he's accepting. That's good. Not only that, you've been friends with him for a long time. If you were older, I would suggest that you tell him jokingly something along the lines of "you know, I once had a crush on you". He would think of it as something funny and would be flattered. You two might even make jokes about it. But telling him that you're still having a crush on him may make him uneasy.

 

Keep your chin up, jvn95. I'm kind of in the same situation but with a woman I have become friends with. I have not known her for as long as you have known your friend but I definitely know how you must feel. It does definitely suck not really being able to tell the other person how you feel, but just try to keep in mind that you will find someone that is perfect for you someday. Try to meet other people, maybe try to take your mind off of your friend.

 

Yeah, I'm in love with my friend... I know that it can never be, though.

I felt the same as you. Sad when he was with a girl, romantic thoughts, all that jazz. I mean, there was a time when I was in the closet that I was deeply deeply in love with him. What didn't help is that he's very affectionate with people that are close to him, no matter what sex they are. So, I got hugs, he would rub my back if my neck hurt, he'd make homoerotic jokes about me and him... oh, if only he knew how much I wanted to be with him.

*sigh* love is cruel.

 

(*hug*)

I know how you feel. There was a friend of mine who I admired and embodied everything I wished I could be. She had drive, goals, determination, confidence. I was broken, depressed, hated myself for being born this way. We were friends for a good many years. She brought me out with her friends, we saw shows together, went to the mall. I wasn't sure if she knew, but in the end I could never tell her, and in my depression I couldn't bear being around her looking so male. We don't talk anymore, and I don't think that I'll ever have the courage to try and repair that friendship, nobody's rejection could ever wound me like hers could. But the void she left in my heart when we parted ways for the last time will never leave me. What you do is up to you, but whatever that choice is, tell your friend before you make it that you value them, and that they and their continued presence in your life and support means more to you that words can express.

Best of luck
-Iris

 

Yeah, that pretty much sucks...sorry dude : ( I had the same problem with one of my close friends, and it definitely hurts. I however was not out to my friend.

I guess you could tell him how you feel, but really, I don't see how that would do you any good. It's probably best to not risk ruining a friendship, but only you could judge what would happen.

I wish I had better advice to give you...

 

Aww hon I'm sorry! I've fallen hard for my best friend too, and it sucks. Not sure if I can offer any advice, but sending hugs your way. (*hug*) <3

 

Yes, been in that situation before, and while it feels good and is fun to be with this person, then not being with them is painful and depressing.

But I was not able to push away the romantic thoughts, and would have hot fantasies about him that I enjoyed having. I was fine with thinking about sex with him and how it would feel. I felt no guilt or regrets about it really. My only concern was it might have been keeping me from having other more constructive relationships with guys. I was always comparing other guys to him and his sense of humor and physical build, and nobody around me at that time could compare. He was funny and very hot! So I could not resist thinking about the next time we would meet up for lunch or the beach or whatever. It drove me crazy for a few years.

These kinds of friendships are common when we are young. They happen also as we get older, but for me they are less common and less intense (a good thing), and I am able to get out and do things and forget about the person in question for long periods if I have other things to do.

The tough ones are the ones that know you are in love with them, and work it for all its worth, soaking up the attention and admiration, but not giving much back. Even if it is not sex, one must get back in return something for the time invested even if it just a learning experience you gain.

I would try and find other guys to admire and lust after if possible, or even fall in love with. It is easier now to meet people and find things to do than it was 20 years ago.