I haven't been on in a while, must have been a few months. Anyway, during my hiatus I've been doing a lot of thinking. I feel like I might have originally clung to the gay label because I wasn't attracted to girls. My assumptions about my orientation have sort of gone like this; "Well obviously I'm straight", "Maybe I'm bisexual, but of course I'm attracted to girls", "wait, no I'm not, I'm gay", and finally, "Hold on, am I?" I keep taking a step back and thinking I've dropped my assumptions, but now that I really think about it, I have never been attracted to anyone in my entire life, and have never had any desire for sex other than curiosity. To be honest, I've never really had a desire to even masturbate. It's sort of weird trying to figure out if there's something that you don't feel but other people do. I don't know, any thoughts? Also, I feel like the asexuality flag is a little bland
Maybe you just haven't found the right person yet! I would keep myself out there if I were you but if you are asexual, that's no big deal! maybe find a support group to help you?
I respect that. I have an aunt who is asexual. It's still a queer orientation so you're still in the gang. It is definitely tough to figure out whether or not other people see something you don't. I do know, at the very least, that I am not asexual. I remember being asexual once, when I was a child, up until the age of 12. Then suddenly it was like a switch went off in my brain and absolutely everything was different from then on.
You could very well be asexual. The fact that even after accepting being gay you still weren't interested in sex with men is worth noting since it means that the cause of your lack of attraction probably isn't denial or repression. However, you could still be gay (or straight or bi or whatever) and just haven't had the life experience needed to bring it out. I had a similar experience, but for me the switch didn't go off until I was 19. If I'd had a different roommate or things hadn't gone quite so badly, it might not have gone for quite a while longer. Have you ever felt romantically attracted to another person? Romantic and sexual attraction are two different things, but there are other orientations on the asexuality spectrum where you don't feel sexually attracted to people generally but do feel it greater or lesser degree for people who you are already close to romantically. In the end, go with what feels right to you. You sound like you're basically asexual for the moment, at least. Acknowledge your feelings but be open to the possibility that they might change. Or might not, as the case may be. Sorry if I wasn't much help.
