some help...please!

1st, dont let him go to the psych, its a waste of time. Hes 22 he can make his own decitions his mum cant exacitaly drag him.

2nd, Tell the silly woman that your together, and stand up to her together. Face to face, shes not gonna be able to do anything to either of you if you are together. But she will shout and scream, ignore her untill she is calm enough to talk properly.

3, Get the hell away from her for a while and let her calm the hell down.

 

First of all, he's 22, and to be perfectly honest it isn't really his mother's place to send him to therapy. While it can be a waste of time, it can also be enlightening for his mother. Using the current situation for "getting to" his mother can be really effective. For instance, if the psychiatrist is un-bias, he'll know that homosexuality isn't a mental illness. Get him to see the psychiatrist alone once. If the psychiatrist isn't against homosexuality, involving his mother in the sessions would be an excellent way for her to hear that his sexuality is perfectly acceptable. This would allow them to have moderated discussion, and possibly hear that the problem doesnt lie with your boyfriend's sexuality, but rather with her attitude.

If her negativity is due to strong religious beliefs then it will be a little harder, and chances are she'll send him to a psychiatrist affiliated with her religion. Obviously, if this is the case, having the psychiatrist see his sexuality as acceptable is going to be unlikely. If this occurs I would say the sessions are a waste of time and not much can be salvaged from them.

The best thing you can do is to support your boyfriend, simply by letting him know he's not dealing with this alone. As Dejavu stated, letting her calm down and get used to the idea until she's ready to discuss it is your best option. When she's ready, decide with him whether confronting her together or just your boyfriend alone is the best option. Confronting her together, while effective, can cause more issues on her behalf, especially since she doesn't realise you two are together.

If worst comes to worst discuss alternative options together. Afterall, he's 22 - his mother needs to realise that.

Let us know how he goes

Dave

 

We'll at 22, his mother can't make him do anything. He has to be a willing participant. He's well over the age to be a legal adult. Really the psychatrist bares only pros for me....given that this psychatrist is doing his job right:

Pros -

His mother will be handed cold hard fact that sexuality isnt something to be changed and cant be changed... if the psychatrist is doing his damn job right, then he's not allowed to let his personal morals interfere with work. His religious background shouldn't interfere, as well as his stance on homosexuality. Any decent psycoligist or psychatrist knows full well that homosexuality has been cleared from the list of mental disorders and that its perfectly normal and healthy.

Your boyfriend's sexuality will not only be validated but his mother will be forced to challenge her own beliefs...although slightly sad, this change must occur if she hopes to have any kind of realationship with her son.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The psychatrist isnt there to give his opinion on homosexuality...he's there to asses mental issues and if necessary give medication. But your b/f has nothing wrong with him. So if he's doing his job right, his mother will be out flat on her ass with a gay son and there's nothing she can do about it.

If the psychatrist proves that he's not doing his job, that he is "biased"...then your b/f can leave anytime he pleases. He is an unwilling participant and can't be held against his will. (given that he is above the age of legal responsability)

 

What dosent kill us only makes us stronger! Its good to hear that something positive can come out of this whole "messy" situation.