Hi guys, let me give you a little bit of background on me. When I was 11, I knew I was attracted to boys, and I knew that I was gay because I didn't have any sexual feelings towards girls. Watching gay porn later on in my teenage years reaffirmed it. I hated being gay, I tried very hard to be 'straight' to fit in with the other boys in school. I felt lonely because I had no one to lean on, I had no gay friends. I kept praying for God to change me but he never did. Then this year, I finally came to terms with my sexuality. I am very happy with myself now. I cannot change myself, and the least I can do is to embrace myself and love myself for how God created me. A few years ago, I left my home in Asia to study abroad - in a Western country. People are just more open about homosexuality here and I found myself coming out to a few of my very close friends who were very understanding. A few weeks ago, I decided to tell my parents, I have nothing to hide, I told myself. I love my parents, I have so much respect for them because they have raised me so well and provided for me all my life without even me asking for it. When I told my parents, it wasn't good. My mother broke down in tears. They were both in shock. They blamed themselves for sending me to study in a western country, they think I have been influenced by 'Western culture' which is more 'open.' I kept telling them that I knew that I was gay since I was eleven years of age, but they completely ignored it. They think that I have been misguided and they keep blaming themselves for misguiding me. Also, they think that I have been reading the Bible in a wrong manner - interpreting the verses wrong. I love God, and homosexuality is definitely not a sin. I have so many reasons for it, but I will not go into that in this post. Basically, my parents are blaming themselves. My mother is very ashamed. I feel sorry for them because they do not have any gay friends, and the first gay person is their very own son, which proved to be a shock to them. Inside, I feel bad because it is obviously not their fault. God made me gay, and I am happy to accept myself. My parents have been quoting so many bible verses on how honouring God will change me. They also keep quoting the verses that supposedly say that homosexuality is wrong. I love my parents a lot - I won't be who I am today without them. I am kind, God-loving, compassionate and I try very hard to make my parents and friends happy. I just don't want my parents to blame themselves because it is definitely not their fault. I don't know what to do now. Please help. Thank you.
I guess the best thing you can do now is trying to explain it to your parents, educate them, give them more insights into the matter, help them to know what really it means to be gay. They themselves are very misguided. Make sure they really listen to you, and after that give them a little time. About the Bible, well, you can easily find information that concerns homosexuality, or should I say, the lack of it. Isn't God about love and not hate? It's not easy to change their opinion, but at least try to show them that there is nothing wrong.
Hi there and welcome to EC. We recommend that people provide their parents with other literature. Do you live somewhere with a PFLAG chapter? There are PFLAG materials that you can print out and send to your parents to help them understand. (I believe there's a link on our 'Resources' tab.) Otherwise, you'll have to just give them time. Remember that it has taken you years to get comfortable with this and finally accept it. You can't expect them to come around in a matter of days or even weeks. It might take them quite a while. Just keep demonstrating that you're the same wonderful kid that they've always known, and eventually they will get over it. They'll see it isn't a big deal.
I agree with Jim. Pointing them towards resources, like books and pamphlets, will really help. Just google things. Maybe find things with a christian emphasis. That'll help them more than your words alone can. Pre-read what you send them, so you know it's both applicable to your situation, and conveys a message you want them to hear. Good luck! ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2012 at 09:24 PM ---------- Cynthia's Story: A mom's journey This is a good start.
