What have I done?! I feel disgusted with myself!

First this doesn't make you disgusting or a slut. So you made a decision that you aren't happy with, next step don't make the same decision again. Then take sometime to figure out what you really want...put some thought into it before you forever swear off gay sex. If after you take time to calm down and think about what you want you decide that it isn't for you then that's fine but you want to be sure that you aren't only reacting this way because this was a bad experience. Was it bad because of the setting, because of who you were with or because you were with another man? You don't have to have answers right away but don't make such a big decision because of a knee-jerk reaction.

 

Also, as far as I know (but I'm not an expert), it's not that easy/trivial to catch HIV from oral sex, unless you had some wound in your mouth.

 

You're not a bad guy, or a slut or anything like it. ((( ))) from my nursing experience, you can get HIV from oral sex but the chances are like 500, 000 to one. I would suggest getting tested for other things like clamydia that unfortunately come up pretty often but can easily be taken care of. Not trying to be crude but take some time exploring yourself and don't rush into another experience. When the time is right you'll know and always remember no matter what your sexual orientation you always have a right to say NO and walk away if things don't seem right.

 

It's okay Pat, we all make mistakes. (*hug*) We all do things that we're ashamed of, and unfortunately, that's just part of life.

What you need to do first and foremost is forgive yourself. You're not a slut, and you're not disgusting. The reason why it felt so wrong, I imagine, is because it was just a random hook-up. Now I guess for some people that works for them, but it doesn't seem to work for you. You want to have a loving relationship with someone where the feelings are mutual.

And you will find one. But you need to forgive yourself for this one. At least you know you'd never want to do it again, right? It was a learning experience.

I hope this is helpful! (*hug*)

 

Haha, whatever makes you feel better. Try some mints.

He sounds like he was quite a prick. Maybe you should stipulate that you want someone more personable who will chat and walk around, if you decide to do something like this again (there's nothing wrong with it if you do). Alternatively you could simply go on dates and leave no promise for anything sexual, which nonetheless leaves the potential for it if both of you feel like it.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. My first time giving head was in a bathroom stall in a WalMart, and it was pretty uncomfortable too. I was even dating the guy at the time and I still didn't enjoy it, and the kissing wasn't very good either. Not every experience you have is going to be good, but you can be sure that there will be some amazing ones.

 

You weren't into it and it didn't feel special, that's normal, and I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience.

Sexytimes can be wonderful one minute and gross the next, it's all about what's going on in your head. And I'm sure you can understand that there's a huge difference between a cold and cramped stall and a nice big comfy bed with someone you feel a connection with.

And just a thought—your first time can be whenever you want it to be. I don't count any kisses up until the first one that made me feel all tingly all over. : ) And I counted myself as a 100% pure virgin until I got to anal, so you can totally do that too. It's a bit silly, but hey, it works for me!

 

I can't think of very many people at all who's first time wasn't an absolute train wreck. I won't go into details about my own, but I will tell you I walked away feeling like a slut myself. That doesn't make it true, though. You made a mistake, it's not a big deal. Be responsible and get yourself tested to be safe, and move on. Dwelling on it is only going to make you feel worse, and there's no sense in doing that to yourself.

 

Don't feel bad just learn from it and move on to what you really want...I have felt like a total slut before too.LOL My first time I hooked up with a guy who was 20+ years older then me, went home and showered for like 30 minutes after... I felt like a dirty whore! that was 8 years ago...there were other experiences that went better then that but no LTR developed, but as of recently I met a guy and the first time we met it was for drinks and dinner just a nice night on a patio, we kept looking at each other with that 'look' well when our second date came around and we were leaving and going to our cars he grabbed me and said my apartment isnt far from here...I thought about it and went we sat on his couch and he started touching the back of my neck and we started making out, I got this tingling feeling all over my body...it was so hot and I was totally into this guy! we didn't go all the way but almost and it was awesome...I'm in love!

 

Hey mate. First of all - it might not look like it now but everything will be alright. I know how you are feeling because some months ago I had a similar experience. Except that I like girls and it was a guy who actually misused me. I had a total mental breakdown and felt horrible, not only in general but with myself. I thought about it all the time and i didnt see how i could be happy and feel "clean" again. But I can tell you that if you truly forgive yourself and find it in your heart that you are allowed to make mistakes like every human being on this planet, it will get better. You will feel normal and content again. The key is in forgiveness. You will think about what happened from time to time but
each time it will be less painful. I wish you the best of luck and I am really sorry about what happened to you. Do not blame yourself for it.

 

You've received some excellent advice!

All I can add is to not give up on sex after one bad experience. Unfortunately I got into a pattern of random hookups for many years. For a long time, I thought that was what being gay meant - just sex. Then one night, I met a guy and went back to his apartment. It was the most incredible night of love making I'd ever experienced.

You are so right about wanting to have a connection before being sexual. That's what I'm finally looking for now. When it happens the right way (at least for me), there'll be a relationship before becoming intimate. The first sex will be passionate, but slow. We'll take time to explore eachother's bodies and not be focused on just getting off, which is all the other guy wanted in your case. We'll only do what we're comfortable with and make it a joyous experience. If it doesn't work out, at least I won't feel like a slut or like I've was used. Sex the right way is beautiful beyond description. Don't deny that gift to yourself and the guy lucky enough to be with you based on what happened in this awful episode.

(*hug*)

 

you are also young, don't know your age, and so when you are mature and with another mature person, you may one day fall in love and have something happy to share.

life is not all about sex, even if we do think about it all the time.

at least now you are more in reality not fantasy, and you know exactly what you DONT want.