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please make it stop

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by confusedlady, Jul 14, 2012.

  1. confusedlady

    confusedlady Guest

    I can't stop the thoughts of figuring out if I want to be with a woman or not, I have to do it to find an answer. Its driving me insane, its all I think about all day. The today I started thinking about my husband having sex with another woman and I lost it, I don't want him to look at her the way he looks at me. I don't want to know he will be with someone else. I want to be that woman. I just want the thoughts to stop, I feel like I'm going insane. The butterflies (attraction?) For men are back and fuck I just want my husband...I'd rather kill myself than see him with someone else.
     
  2. Hot Pink

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    Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe you're bisexual, but that doesn't make your feelings for him any less strong.
     
  3. confusedlady

    confusedlady Guest

    I have, he's really understanding. Like I would forget and start looking at men again, but its not like men turn me on. Its very much an emotional attraction with them. I don't get butterflies around women, but the fact that a womans body turns me on and that a man's doesn't confuses me. But I like being with them for the intimacy.

    Ill think about being with a woman, but something pushes the thought away and if I keep thinking about it my head feels like its gonna pop. Then when I think about actually doing the thoughts I get intense anxiety but I'm like no I have to do it. I'm not attracted to specific women, not like men, this is weird. I feel like I have to do it and try my best to make it work cause I can't deal with this anymore. I don't care if I'm gay anymore, I just want to be at peace.

    Is it possible to think you'd like something or get turned on by something but you don't want to do it?
     
  4. Hot Pink

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    It is. It sounds to me like you're homosexual but also heteroromantic. This means that you're sexually attracted to women, but you can only become emotionally attracted to men. I know it's confusing. I know personally because I'm emotionally attracted to both men and women. I have liked men in the past. I personally find it difficult to like men when I'm not sexually attracted to them.