hi i would like some advice as i don't feel strong enough to approach doctors, my psychologist or especially my family. for as long as i can remember i have been attracted to females. i dabbled a little as a teen with what i thought was just genuine curiosity. the problem i have is i was sexually molested as a child for years by my Mother's female cousin. i only started telling my friends and family at 28 about the molesting Cousin (im now 30) and i am scared as hell because i sure i am gay....but i am scared they will link it to these events and not except my sexuality as real and chalk it up to confusion. I've had relationships with men (including a marriage . i am divorced) although i did enjoy the sexual encounters i find i am more attracted to the females. my other reason for my confusion is since i was 14 i've been in love with my high school best friend. we have been in and out of contact over the years and these days we keep in contact via facebook.when i was told (during a time we had lost touch) she had married and had a child i was Devastated beyond words...but put on a happy face and congratulated her im scared to discuss this with anyone i know and love scared they will nor accept it and i am unsure how to go from here because i am miserable and depressed about hiding this i need to try and get the courage to come out but i dont really know how ...please i really need some advice thank you so much passion flower xxx
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! Have you considered seeing a counselor, to help you with the issues around the abuse and also to help you with self-acceptance and coming out? Sometimes straight abuse survivors fear that they might be gay if they experienced physical pleasure during abuse from a same-sex person. There could also be some intrusive sexual thoughts because of the trauma (these would be unpleasant rather than enjoyable). But the abuse would not cause you to develop romantic attachments to women, which it sounds like you do.
