I'm on a family vacation this week, the good: I get to spend a week with my my entire family and all of my cousins boating and on the lake all week. The bad: I have to spend a week with these people who dont know I'm gay, Are outwardly homophobic and hate any person that strays from their definition of "normal." Just today I was talking on my cousins phone, and my aunt said "please tell me that's not your phone"* Me- "umm no its not, why?" Aunt- it has a purple case on it and I thought we were going to have to kick you out of the family, then she's laughs.* They make little back handed comments like this all day long and it drives me insane. I have spent the last 5 years in an endless cycle of self-hatred and denial, and just recently got to a point in my life that I was finally beginning to accept myself and be happy about it. Now, I find with each little comment they make I am teetering on the edge of falling back into the cycle of denial an self-hatred. I can't do that again, I can't go back to that point in my life where I hated everything about myself. How am I going to survive this week? Ok now that I got all of that off my chest, I think I can deal with them for a little bit longer. Thanks for listening to me complain, it helps to know there are people that will listen!
You're not alone on this. I hate to have to deal with homophobic people who don't even know I'm bisexual. Its terrible knowing that wouldn't accept you if they knew. I can't offer any special advice except for a hug and letting you know you're not alone. (*hug*)
"Oh Auntie, please tell me that is not your ugly, spiteful mouth, making snide comments because if it is, I might have to kick it in for you." or if she is religious hit her with some sort of comment about how the devil has his fingers in her soul.
Oooh, my sympathies... I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Make snide comments about close-mindedness and bigotry. Be sarcastic and cynical when you're making a retort to something that's a stupid comment, but be nice when they're being good. That could condition them to not make those dumb-ass comments around you. Whip them into shape without them even really knowing what you're doing.
Rather than returning bad attitude with bad attitude..... Maybe you should just tell them? Then it's over and you don't have to worry about it anymore. They'll do what they do, and you can go on with your life either way it goes. Being hateful to people who are hateful just doesn't have any sort of positive outcome, from what I've seen. Sounds like this is going to be rough for you, and I'm sorry for that. : ( Wish you had someone there who could be a support to you, it sounds like you will need it, whether you come out to them or not.
Comment of the year! OP - Honestly, I feel for you. If it helps, log into EC every night and unload all the shit they talk. Start a "I can't believe they said ____" thread or something.
Dayum! I'm sorry hon, that sucks, and your aunt sounds like a bit of a bigot. Do you still live at home, and if so, are your parents opposed to homosexuality? If not, you may want to just come it -- it'll make your irritating relatives think twice before dropping a casual homophobic comment. Otherwise, just hang in there? You may want to keep a journal while you're there and rant to that -- how I deal with my homophobic relatives. Good luck hon, hope it goes well. <3
