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"Youre not allowed to be a boy." WTF?!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ShayneTaylor, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. ShayneTaylor

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    *frustrated noises*

    oh boy. I wish i could post my youtube link on here because i made a video rant about this. My parents piss me off so much. rawr.

    So the other noght we were having bbq night out on the back patio, and mu brother was telling a story and we were making fun of him because he talks with his hands alot. So we were poking fun at how gays are portrayed with their flamboyancy (which doesnt go for all of them) and how they talk with dramatic hand motions. (Dont get me wrong i have nothing against homosexuals).

    And after awhile of laughing and joking, my mom got all serious and said, pointing at my brother, "Youre not allowed to be gay," then she points to me and says, "and ypure not allowed to be a boy."

    I went along with it until i decided to go to bed. Thats when i lost it. I thought about journaling but i was so furious. She cant stop me from being who i am. I know she was probably joking with us, since we never talk about my gender identity anymore, but it still hurt. I dont like being shot down by my own parents. It makes me feel like im always gonna live a lie. :frowning2:

    What should i do. She doesnt take me seriously when i say that im a guy, and she asks, "What makes you a guy?" and that question frustrates me because the only that seperates male from female, is anatomical body parts.

    Blargh. It pisses me off and schools commin up soon...grrr. -.-
     
  2. Deaf Not Blind

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    hi. well, I have not told my mom outright Im a guy, but I think she sees some changes in me and will one day have to accept it.

    you told yours, so one day she will have to accept it. and if not, she won't likely see you much.
     
  3. MusicIsLife

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    *hugs* It sucks, but I think the only thing that will help your parents accept it is time. My mom is way in denial about it, pulling the "How can you possibly know you're only 23!" crap.

    In my opinion, they will only start to accept it when you transition, be that just with clothes and hair, or if you go all the way, its up to you.
     
  4. Deaf Not Blind

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    ^dont some people marry and go to war younger than 23?
    so why is 23 not called minor?
    :wink:
     
  5. Gen

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    Is there a issue with school too?

    Anyway, you told her and thats about all you can do. All I would say know is too be yourself and do what you want. Dress in the cloths you like and act the way you want. Yes, she will probably comment on you every once in a while, but eventually she will see that it is not going to change you and is therefore a losing battle.

    Is your brother actually gay? You should talk to him too, because if he really is gay than he would be going through the same thing you are. And it would be nice for you each to have someone to go through this with.
     
  6. Pat20uk

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    Hmm its kind weird that you laugh at gay people when you are trans... which is far more "unusual".
    but nevermind have you tried showing your parents some books or something that could open their eyes a little? approach them slowly and when they are in good peaceful mood.
     
  7. ShayneTaylor

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    I dont laugh at gay people. I laugh at my brother who jokes about being gay. My bestfriend is gay. I think the stereotypes about gay people are funny, but not at gay people.

    Ive tried to but my mom will not accept anything.
     
  8. BradThePug

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    I can relate to you a little here...

    Sometimes when I go to my grandma's house (which is a lot) she will comment on how I am too manly. I am not even out to her. It is really annoying...

    I would just say to be yourself. Show her that this is not a phase. Hopefully with time she will accept you.
     
  9. Reader

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    Ah, that's dreadful! :frowning2: Since she already knows that you're a guy, (I know it's still hard to talk about!) perhaps you could say something like "Than comment you made the other day hurt" and/or "Even in jest, could you not make comments about my gender".
    I know it's awfully easy to say this, because it's difficult as hell!
    Hope you're okay though, xx(*hug*)
     
  10. seeksanctuary

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    My opinion? Don't do anything, not yet. Keep pushing ahead, and if she keeps making stupid comments... THEN say something. If she asks why you feel like a guy, just say "I feel I should have been born male so I am changing my life with the intention of living as male". If she tries to say you can't be male, just say "I already am; I'm just changing my outsides" and/or "you can't stop me from being what I've always been".

    Good luck!
     
  11. Reader

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    Yeah actually the comment above me sounds like a better idea! Something will have to be said if she continues saying stuff but at the moment just continue being who you are x