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Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes a sub-forum for posting stories about your coming out experiences.

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Old 17th Jul 2012, 12:48 AM   #1
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Default Orientation Slip N Slide (lengthy)

I wouldn't be surprised if I searched the annals (be mature) of this site there might be a post similar to this, but as I don't have the patience to look for it I won't, so sorry if anyone has already seen a thread like this one. And yes, I've posted some similar(ish) threads recently.

*WARNING* *WARNING* This is meant in no way to be a sexual post, but simply a post asking about the subject matter. If I in anyway offend anyone, I apologize, but I'm not really sure how to put this in a cleaner way than I already have. *WARNING* *WARNING*

So this is a survey of people's experiences as much as me asking if there's any reasoning behind it.

I'm under no illusions that people here don't have a type of 'pr0n' (I'm just gonna say that so I don't have to deal with people squeeming away from this) they like, be it straight, gay, lesbian, transsexual, or otherwise. My question is, has anyone, after finding themselves to be a certain orientation and then a lot later after that, lost interest in a type of pr0n that previously excited them? In my case I'm pansexual (obvious to anyone who looks left) so i'm good with most stuff. Recently though, I've become (in life) more drawn towards those who recognize themselves as male. [That didn't really seem like anything more than my moods changing my outlook on things, and accordingly some interests changed. It'd happened before, and I was sure it'd happen again.]

Anyway, after observing straight pr0n...I realized that I wasn't getting excited. At all. It seems like it's pretty straightforward, but I'm just wondering what my sudden lack of interest in the female body means. Is it temporary, does it mean anything?

Now, I'm not saying that to make it seem like I'm afraid of being Gay, I have no problem with it and don't really care much what label is applied to me. What is causing me some distress, is that after a lot of internal and external turmoil I finally came to the fact that i am (was?) pan, which caused me to re-evaluate a lot of things that (both good and bad) greatly affected my life. So right now I'm not sure what to think and I'm just looking for some input, maybe get another view of this.
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Old 17th Jul 2012, 01:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Orientation Slip N Slide (lengthy)

First of all, what type of porn you watch may have very little to do with your sexuality. The classic example is hetero men who like to watch lesbian porn. Less obvious is the case of gay men who like to watch hetero porn. Or hetero women who like to watch gay porn. There's a lot of variety there, and a lot of different reasons why people like to watch things that may or may not correspond to the sex life they actually want to engage in themselves.

Now, I do understand the stress that comes with a whole new period of self-discovery, especially after you've been through it already and thought you had it settled. But maybe you've already come up with the answer to that:

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Originally Posted by Cogged Wings View Post
Now, I'm not saying that to make it seem like I'm afraid of being Gay, I have no problem with it and don't really care much what label is applied to me.
If the label of "pansexual" is becoming a problem for you, then drop the label. Maybe your sexuality will remain fluid for you for a long time. Maybe you're finally settling in the position you'll be for the rest of your life. It's hard to say, but my big rule of thumb with labels - whatever they may be - is that the second they become a problem instead of a source of support and comfort, throw them out the window. If you meet a guy tomorrow that you're attracted to, then great - go for it. Or if you meet a woman tomorrow whom you think is awesome, then go for that. But don't punish yourself because you decided to describe yourself a certain way in the past.
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Old 17th Jul 2012, 02:10 AM   #3
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Default Re: Orientation Slip N Slide (lengthy)

I'm aware that porn and orientation often have little to do with one another, it's just that that was when I started along this train of thought. I realized that, in real life, women weren't as eye catching as they used to be.

When I labeled myself pansexual, it was because (at the time) I was attracted to people, not to genders. I picked the label after the description, not before, if that makes sense.
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Old 17th Jul 2012, 02:12 AM   #4
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Default Re: Orientation Slip N Slide (lengthy)

I used to watch lesbian porn. I feel like when I watch porn I feed more off the emotion within than the actual imagery I'm presented. I liked it for the whole emotion of being swayed and experimenting. The I realized that I liked looking at penis more than vagina and switched to gay porn.

I honestly don't think I was ever very interested by heterosexual pornography that I can recall.

Though to be honest most of the time I just look at transgender/forced femization type stuff.
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Old 17th Jul 2012, 02:20 AM   #5
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Default Re: Orientation Slip N Slide (lengthy)

When I started to watch porn at first, so did I. I think I was thinking along the lines of "I'm supposed to like girls....so watching multiple girls must be better!" Then I realized I was listening more to what the background voices, camera crew, etc., was saying so I stopped watching it. As far as hetero porn, I realize all I was going was watching the guys' business, did some more looking around, then came and posted here
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