I don't want to accept that I'm bisexual?!

Firstly, your not too young to know, I accepted I was gay when i was 13, but I had been that way years before.
and from your description it sounds like you could very well be bi or even lesbian, the fact that you feel for a girl is proof, It looks like you aren't scared or unwilling to be bi, but rather fear what people would think of you if you were, and while that's perfectly understandable, it shouldn't affect the way you see yourself, don't try and see yourself as straight just because of them, even if you accept you are bi, it doesn't mean they have to know immediately, or ever, its your life, and your heart, if you let others dictate what that is, life can be a very bad place.

you need to find out who are, not who your peers want you to be, start with that, no matter what the answer is, embrace it

 

Your post could have been written by me at 14 except I didn't have a proper girl crush until later. I was attracted to boys emotionally and later I even had fun messing around with them before settling down for ten years with a man I loved very much but who did not meet all of my needs.

Your fears about what others think about you I totally empathise with. Well done for finding this forum and having the courage to post. I did not do this, things were different twenty years ago!

Being bisexual or gay is not a choice and you can't change who you are. You are no less of a person if you are bisexual or any other orientation. You are beautiful and whole just the way you were made. As your feelings develop and you become more secure you might identify yourself using a label, but for now, why not take the pressure off yourself and give yourself some breathing space.

I felt an urge to respond because of the path my own life has taken. I was in strong denial until late last year. That has been very damaging and causes me lots of pain. I thought I would never accept myself but do you know what? It is okay. And it is going to get much better I know.

Please stay with this forum. It is a really safe place to ask questions and offload your fears. Lots of people here have trouble accepting themselves. You are not alone. I have learned so much by reading other people's stories and I always find strength and hope.

Take it easy,

Rose

 

Coming from a fellow bisexual, I know exactly how you feel. You feel lost and confused and you're scared of what people will think about you. Well here's the good news. You don't have to tell anyone. Just keep it to yourself until you feel ready to let people know.

 

i have found that teachers seem to think that LGBT kids are troublemakers. not true. usually we are pretty calm when it comes to that... and if your friends look down on you for being bi, THEY ARENT YOUR FRIENDS!!! and your parents might not accept it or even like it but they wont stop caring about you. and i know its weired, but i have to ask: have you ever had sex with anyone (girl or guy)? have you ever kissed either one? if not, dont make judgements as to what you might like... you cant be turned off by guys until they've tried to turn you on...

 

Even while gay you can grow up, get married, and have kids. It isn't wrong of you either. Discover what it is. Become friends with the girl, if you can trust her, tell her you think you might be bi and maybe she can help you figure it out. If you can see yourself kissing a girl, liking a girl, holding hands, having a relationship, falling in love with, and raising a family together you just might be. A lot of straight people get curious but then nothing becomes of it. You never know, but don't pressure yourself into being either gay or straight. You have to discover what you are naturally. You could end up psyching yourself out and doing the wrong thing. Let yourself be, and whatever you are, embrace it♥

 

You described how I usually feel. I always dreamt about having kids and getting married and I live in a country where this is not possible. At least having kids isn't.
I try to convince myself that it is okay to like girls too but how I've been raised and in what environment, still has some effect.

I think you should first be sure if you really are bi, before telling that to other people and as others said, if your friends don't accept you for what you are, they are not your friends and you should stop caring about that.

This site has helped me a lot actually, and people here are very nice and accepting and always prepared to help

 

Well, it seems you could be bisexual, lesbian, but also straight and just curious. But I'd say you're at least bi. My first same-sex crush was actually a crush on a boy, because I didn't know the person I was in love with was a girl, since we've only known each other from the internet. When I learned she was in fact a girl, my feelings didn't change and since then I've only had strong same-sex crushes, but also a lot of crushes on boys, however they weren't very strong.

I don't know where you come from and how gay-open the society you live in is, but I'll tell you something. I live in a country where gay people aren't really welcome. It gets better slowly, people are now more open-minded, but still our country suffers from quite a strong case of homophobia. And I've already told several people including my brother and they were all very supportive and didn't mind it at all.

I suggest you choose wisely and carefully the people you might want to confess to with your sexuality, when you're ready to come out. Don't tell the people that you know wouldn't be cool with it. At least not now. And you can always write here on EC, where there are people like you. We won't judge you, no matter who you are

 

Don't worry about telling the world yet- figure it out in yourself first. Let yourself look at guys and girls without prejudice, and remember, no matter who you dig, there is nothing wrong with it and you're completely normal.

Also, let me tell you, there are a lot of hot girls out there, and being bi doubles the eye candy