Long time lurker, first time posting! I've recently come to accept that I'm bisexual, after a good number of years of avoiding the issue. This acceptance was in part prompted after I developed a crush for someone I've known now for nearly a year and a half. We met through an online community we're both involved in, and have had the chance to meet up attending various events in that time. He's openly gay and has been since he was 18, we've never discussed his status but he posted his coming out story on FB recently which really struck a chord with me. In February this year after just such a meet up, I plucked up the courage to come out to him (in the middle of a busy train station, my timing could've been better! :eusa_doh, he suggested we arrange to go for a drink some time. Unfortunately we live some 200 miles apart (he's studying) and so arranging such a drink hasn't been feasible. The couple of times we've met since have always been at community events - and our time has been spent together but with the group. Despite this, there have been several exchanged glances over dinner, some IM flirting and the occasional hug! (*hug*) After our last meeting (weekend before last) I took the initiative and asked when he was next home, it turns out he's back next week and so we've arranged to finally grab that drink one evening! So why am I posting this? Well despite me having come out to him, I've never actually expressed my feelings for him. Whilst I hope they'll be reciprocated, I know that there's a much larger chance he'll not be interested. Do I make it clear when we meet? I've spent a good deal of time writing down what I want to say (my acceptance, our common background and my feelings for him) - but is it too bold to do all that over a drink? My worry (as in February) when I'll otherwise next get to say anything, especially since he's thinking of moving to Europe for work in a few months!
Honestly, if you've been flirting online and getting along as buddies, I'd just play it like a date. Don't go super-romantic or anything, but treat it like hanging out... and just take it up a notch. Try flirting a bit; you'll be able to tell really quickly (if you can even minimally read people) whether he's into it or not. If he isn't, then just lay off... and if he is, well, keep going. If it ends on a high note, you can try setting up another time to meet and/or make it a little more serious. If you're curious about his relationship status and whether you guys have anything going, you could casually ask about his dating life and things like that. I'm sure around that topic you could bring up the notion that you like him. Again, I think the best thing is to play it by ear. Being casual works well here, IMO, because if you want to proceed to "more than friends" you can do it seamlessly, and if that doesn't work out you can still enjoy hanging with a friend. And welcome to (this side of) EC!
Welcome to EC! Don't get all 'heavy' on the first outing that the two of you have together. That would just be awkward I'm afraid. You can let him know how much you've been looking forward to getting together with him and how much you appreciate him being so supportive - but I wouldn't profess your undying love to the guy. That could very well scare him off. AFTER you've had a drink together and you continue to IM, see if the tone changes at all.
