I've been really depressed, please help.

[BB1192]

Since June of last year I have been talking to this guy I met. We started out as friends and it eventually progressed into a relationship. In September (2011) I came out to my parents and told them about me being gay-- their immediate response was to seek a psychiatrist to make me "not gay." I went for a couple sessions and then stopped. I think they figured it would just go away. They told me to stop talking to the guy I met-- who became my boyfriend. I did not stop.
In April of this year, I was under so much pressure by my parents asking me if I had "found any girls I was interested in," also very scarred, and I told them I had not stopped talking to the guy. They immediately began bashing gays, telling me all sorts of things-- which I know to be false, but because they come from my parents, it sticks in my head. They also told me again to stop talking to my boyfriend. I told them that I would not.
Since then I have been depressed, the first month-2 was bad, and it's slowly getting better. I want to be with this guy. He is so good to me, and he has been patient, and loving and caring. He is perfect in my eyes. Since I told my parents and I got depressed-- sometimes though it is like I'm not gay. I find myself looking at girls and asking myself if I like them. I question my love for my boyfriend. My sex drive has decreased. It all scares me-- because I do know I love and care for this guy, but my minds tries to trick me.
Has anyone else been through anything similar or have any words of encouragement or advice?

Fyi- since I told my parents in April, they are accepting me and getting used to the idea. They told me they love me the same.

Thanks

[Deaf Not Blind]

im so glad your parents love you!
Welcome to EC we are a pretty nice group of peeps.

It could be just you notice pretty girls like you do art and flowers, pretty is good, and makes me feel less depressed too.

You could maybe be like say 10% straight, not everybody is completely gay or straight. But the person you love is the person you love. So you may notice a pretty face, don't mean you gonna cheat. Just like a straight guy who loves his gf forever, may still in a cafe turn his head when a pretty girl walks past. your not dead, your human!

[Cody25]

Don't let people impress upon you their beliefs, even if they are your parents. Try to sort out your feelings, your ACTUAL feelings, from those altered by influence. Then you will be able to come to terms again with how you really feel. What I am trying to say is that you shouldn't let your parents telling you that you're straight get to your head. You know your feelings, so don't try to push your boundaries because of it. Staring at women and trying to enjoy the sight is not true feelings, you are forcing them. You can't tell me that you do not enjoy the sight of your boyfriend... That is what you should be focusing on...

[Jim1454]

Hi there and welcome to EC!

I'm glad that you've come out to your parents and that you're being honest with them. I'm thrilled that they are starting to come around. Sometimes that's what it takes - someone close to them to come out for them to reconsider their stupid assumptions about what it means to be gay.

I think it's a natural reaction for you to be a little down. You've been under a lot of stress related to all of this so it's natural that your body and mind will need to 'recover' a little. Take your parents change of attitude as a signal that this is all going to be OK. Yes, they said some hurtful things, but I dont' think they really meant them. They said them out of fear and ignorance.

Depression can be a tough thing to break out of. Be sure to do things for you. Get some exercise. Treat yourself right. Get enough sleep, but not too much. Hopefully your mood will continue to improve.

Again - welcome!

[Deaf Not Blind]

oh i should say i went through bad depression first time ever, after starting to accept. its feeling better, not over it though. my grandma was depressed when her husband died, so her doc gave great orders: every day as a routine no matter how you feel, force yourself out of the house and go visit with friends. in her case, old peeps for coffee early morning everyday mcdonalds.

and even a fake smile has been proven to elevate your mood slightly, so if i do this :P and wiggle my ears are you giggling yet?

[jimL]

Welcome to EC,

Just give it time and things will get better. Your parents hopefully will come around and stop with all the bad remarks. Sometimes people say things that they really don't mean, and I think that's the case with your parents. There just scarred and concerned for your future because they don't know that gay people can be just as happy as anyone else. Keep your head up and keep seeing your supportive boyfriend. Good luck.