Letter to my Parents

[Raindrop]

I'm going to come out to my parents soon. Someone on this forum gave me the idea of coming out through a letter and it's perfect for me. I'm also going to make a YouTube video of me reading it for them so they can hear it from me. They aren't very supportive of the gay community but they accept it and they love me.

Dear mom and dad,

I'm going to start this letter the only way I know how. By saying I love you. I love you so much. Before you panic, this is nothing bad. Actually, for me, this is great! I need to tell you that I am extremely happy. I also need to tell you that I am bisexual. Yes, you read that right. I'd understand if you needed to read that a million times over before it sunk in. I'd also understand if you totally didn't believe me. I didn't believe it and I refused to believe at first too.

See, I've been bi since as long as I can remember. Even as a little girl (okay, about 8 or 9 when I started liking boys) I would like my friends. My friends who were girls. I would like them the same way I would like the guys I liked. I remember feeling disgusted, repulsed and just plain sick to my stomach when I realized I liked girls. I would late the words gay, lesbian, homosexual. I remember, in gr. 6 everyone was in a big group hug and I didn't feel like hugging that day. Someone called over their shoulder "KB, if you don't join this hug you're a lesbian. I sincerely considered joining the hug. I didn't want to be a lesbian. I mean, who in their right mind would like girls? But I didn't join the hug. It was my little way of standing up. I think it was my first step towards acceptance.

In gr. 7 I realized that I wasn't the only one. There were other girls out there who liked girls and boys. I wasn't alone anymore. The first person I came out tks was Madeleine who decided to tell the 6/7/8's on the bus. I was okay with it. I didn't have a big problem with them knowing I just wish it had of been me who told them. I understand why she told them though. She was surprised, shocked and a little uncomfortable with her new knowledge. I also told Cassie and Caitlin (over march break). I still don't know and probably never will know which of those people made it so that both gr. 7 classes knew by the end of march break. I walked into math class and everyone was asking me questions about it. My first reaction was to deny it. Tell them they were mistaken but something told me to tell the truth, so I proudly smiled and said "yes. I am bi."

I hope you aren't mad that I told my friend.dsnielbi before you. The truth is, I needed their support to tell you. It's been over a year now since that day on the bus and I've only just built up the courage to tell you. It's not that I don't trust you or don't believe you love me but rather that I was scared. I was scared of that small little part of me that thought you'd reject me. I was scared of the worse case scenario, no matter how ridiculous it was. For the past year every time I thought of telling you I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Now I get excited and happy. I used to make myself feel better about not telling you by telling myself that who I love isn't who I am but rather who I love is. Now I realize that by hiding who I love from you I'm also hiding how I love them.

I love you two so much,

Raindrop

P.S. PFLAG is a great support group foe gays, their families and friends. It stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gay. Their Peterborough website is:
PFLAG Peterborough ON - Home
They meet informally at any time with friends and/or families who contact them and would like to talk.

P.S.S. Maybe we could go to the Peterborough pride parade on September 15th? I would love to go at least once.

((my mom doesn't exactly like the idea of pride parades and I really want to go to one))

[PaulV]

I would have to say the letter would be all you need with youtube you might be in for a lot of backlash as for pride goto it if you want to but you should ask your mom would you like to come? don't be forceful about it not all parents goto pride

[thecat06]

If you do the video, you might not want to use youtube... youtube can be bad about having negative responses. I think that the letter is good. I would also agree with paulv about not being forceful when it comes to going to pride. It might take your parents a while to get used to seeing you as bi.

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes!!

[Raindrop]

Thank you both for the advice! I realize that YouTube is probably a bad place to post it. All my friends on Facebook know and are okay that I'm bi. I realized after I wrote the pride parade thing that it shouldn't be included and it won't be it'll be asked in person at some point.

[thecat06]

Originally Posted by Raindrop

Thank you both for the advice! I realize that YouTube is probably a bad place to post it. All my friends on Facebook know and are okay that I'm bi. I realized after I wrote the pride parade thing that it shouldn't be included and it won't be it'll be asked in person at some point.

Awesome!! I hope that it goes well for you. Let us know how it goes!!

[VelvetBlade]

Originally Posted by Raindrop

I'm going to come out to my parents soon. Someone on this forum gave me the idea of coming out through a letter and it's perfect for me. I'm also going to make a YouTube video of me reading it for them so they can hear it from me. They aren't very supportive of the gay community but they accept it and they love me.

I came out in a letter to my parents and it was just so much easier than having to do it in person. They weren't the first to know either, but I just felt at the time that I need to tell them too. I was going through a questioning stage at the time though and was mistaking my stronger feeling towards women as me being lesbian, so that's what I came out as. After another long and hard inner debate and after my thoughts and feelings have settled, I now know for certain that I'm bi. I've rectified it with my friends and they're all still supportive of me and don't see it as me being indecisive or anything. They know I've been going through questioning stages.

But summing up the courage to talk to my parents about this is going to be quite a mission. I usually write them letters about serious stuff/intensely emotional stuff, have been doing it that way since I was able to write.

To get back to you though, I think it's a great way for you to come out to your parents and your letter seems very well thought out and well written. Go for it!

But I agree that you should phrase the pride parade part a little differently. More of a question than a statement. "I would love to attend my first Pride Parade and would like to ask if you'd like to accompany me?" (Or something along those lines). Then give the details of where it's being held, etc.

Add: Regarding the video: I'd suggest you use a normal video camera and just record the message and then show it to them on the camera (provided you have one you can use). Or if you have a laptop with a built-in webcam, just record the message on there and then give the laptop to them so they can view the message. That way it'll still be personal but won't be public

Good luck

[Raindrop]

VelvetBlade,

Thank you for the great advice and support Your ideas about the video and the pride parade sentence are great! I hope everything goes well with telling your own parents.

Good luck to you as well!

[Raindrop]

So they saw my letter last but haven't talked to me about it besides a text saying "we do love you".

[Bobbgooduk]

Well done, Raindrop - I've gone all mushy inside!

[LookingtoAffirm]

thats awesome raindrop, congratulations

[VelvetBlade]

Well done!

Sounds like it went down rather well too by the response you got.

[Lewis]

Well done and congratulations! I wish I could do the same.

[Koalaman]

Well done!