|19th Jul 2012, 10:12 PM||#1|
Join Date: Jul 2012
i could use some assistance
so, I've got a bit of a story and would love someone who maybe has a similar story or knows anything similar can give me their look into it. thanks in advance. so i know this guy his name in this story will be jeff so jeff and i have been friends since kindergarten (btw this might be quite the read so i apologize in advance,take this opportunity to start growing your beard) and we stayed friends till eight grade at which point i ended up moving schools. we remained in touch for a year and about half way through freshman year he transferred from his school to ours. we remained pretty good friends until id say senior year.
and this is i suppose were things become interesting. so about half way through senior year we end up talking more than usual and he's all like "would you like to go to a drop kick murpheys concert" and well obviously i couldn't refuse. so we ended up going and talking. he said he wanted to take a girl but she couldn't go. i tried to talk to him more about her but he seemed uninterested and i knew the girl well and it kind of seemed like he chose to like her specifically because her parents were really strict. it was kind of school knowledge that she couldn't date until she was the age of most rocks. so there really was no opportunity in this.
but through the night he ended up showing me his stomach and smiled at me. this in itself isn't really important. a few weeks later he asked if i wanted to go to a show with five fingered death punch and i ended up not being able to go because of work and he was disappointed but we continued talking to about half a year later when he starts to go to college with my brother and i take it as an opportunity to hang out with him so we learn that comicon is coming to a city near us and we end up going and we end up in an apartment owned by my sister there was two rooms and two mattresses my brother and his girlfriend took one and it left said individual and i to the last room . we had been playing the south park drinking game and i was pretty much farther gone than i needed to be. i noticed we were getting kind of cudly and he ended up pulling my pants down a little and then i was like "please if you want to get in these loins you'll need candles I'm not that easy" so he gets up goes to the bathroom and produces said candle.
at this moment i was all like "holy magnimous encounters" and wasn't really ready for this because I've had feelings for this guy for 4 years. and the thought of him being gay was something i put in the back of my mind. so i was kind of freaked out because i didn't want to ruin a friendship by doing something stupid. so i pretty much told him i don't want to kiss him and do something stupid and also that my mother is calling...i know super smooth. anyway i leave and come back about an hour later. he's still up and things return to normal i wouldn't say awkward at all which was really strange. and the next day when we return to our own abodes i ask him "so what was that" and he tells me it was the alcohol talking and sorry if he got my hopes up. id be lying if i said i wasn't bummed but i didn't want to push it until later about a month i invite him over to play beer pong and like clockwork everyone ends up in separate rooms. we start talking and we get on the subject of dating and he asks me what my type is and i tell him that....it was pretty much him. and conversation continues until we end up on the couch and i pretty much just fall on him....like my smooth self would. and start rubbing his side. i end up looking into his face and he told me to make a move....and well i did.
and thus commences face battalion force five: the reckoning. so we end up making out and then we stop and he gives me a long speech about how he likes people to be straight forward with their feelings and that he was curious. and he was going to drive home and I'm like "you can't drive home drunk" and he told me he hadn't been drinking....either times not this time or during the time up in seattle when he told me it was the alcohol talking. so a couple days later i end up talking with him and realize he hates his brother and his dad is fine but his mother is kind of an airhead. (he has an incredibly religious family btw and his brother is heavily homophobic he won't even talk to me when i see him in public which is fine but whatevs it doesn't really bug me) anyway i asked him if he has anyone he can talk to and he pretty much told me "i have you" which made me feel nice anywhoo (the stories almost done i promise)
i ended up taking his advice about being straight forward and send him a max letter text expressing said feelings and he pretty much ends up sending a text saying "i don't really know how to say what I'm thinking plus I'm playing sky rim" which kind of sucked to hear. ok so i end up having to move to a different state and i invite him camping and we go with a bunch of friends and fun comes to fun and we drop everyone off the next day. he forgot his jacket in our truck and i drive it to him for an opportunity to talk to him about stuff to figure out what to expect of our friendship. so i asked if we can talk and we walk to the bedroom and I'm all like "i don't really know how to start this" and he gets a kind of scared look on his face and tells me to pretty much save it....offers me redvines and asks me to send him a letter so i ask if ill end up seeing him again. and he said he'd visit. i leave and end up in said state and text him because i hadn't heard from him i had a friend who could get me tickets to a place he wanted to go and i knew jeff would really like to go there because he said it was kind of a dream destination for him and i text him asking if he'd like to go. he told me he wasn't really ready yet but to tell him when things firm up.....aaaaand were don't with the story in its entirety. I'm sorry if you've lost a few years on this but if this sounds like something you've gone through or something you know anything about. any advice on how i should proceed. oh p.s when we were on the couch i could hear his heart beating like it was a damn cannon...not sure if that matters.i don't really like the idea of posting something like this on the internet but i don't know who i should talk to because i don't want to talk to someone i know because it might make things complicated . so i thought why not talk to anonomys people on le internet
|19th Jul 2012, 10:45 PM||#2|
Empty Closets Advisor
Out Status: Out to everyone
Join Date: Nov 2011
Re: i could use some assistance
Well, the question I've got to ask first is - what do you want to happen with him? Both in general, and what are you hoping for from the trip to his "dream destination"? Because that will change any advice a lot.
From the sound of it, he genuinely cares for you, but is unprepared to really make anything of it - telling you to make the move, for example, and the deflection about not knowing what to say and playing skyrim . He may genuinely have been excited to be with you, but it sounds like no matter what it wasn't something he was interested in making at all public. This could have to do with his family and his brother, but who knows? Hard to say over the internet. Did he already know you were moving away?
Also, welcome to EC! Don't worry about talking about things on here, people are pretty happy to help. Hope you like the site.
"If you didn't think it would hurt your reputation, what would you choose?"
|20th Jul 2012, 12:20 AM||#3|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Re: i could use some assistance
ok well first off thank you for the help...i guess "dream destination" is to be there for him and if he would come out i would hopefully maybe ask him out and see where it goes. He's the kind of person i could see being really happy with him. i mean in no way will i ever force anything on him and if he has no interest i will just let it go. but at the same time it seems like there might be some unfinished bisuness. he did know i was moving away. i thought maybe he saw it as an opportunity to maybe get some curiosity out and then forget about it after i leave. anywhoo if you could share some wisdom that would be lovely. also thank you for the welcome
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