Am I too young to come out?

There is no such thing as "too young to come out." Whenever you are ready is the time to come out...knowing when that is, though, is the harder part. Once you feel comfortable with yourself and who you are, knowing that some of your friends may dislike you because of who you are (make sure that they are no longer your friends!), I would say you are ready. Start with your closest friends - they are the least likely to leave you - and your family if they are generally friendly towards gays.

Good luck!

 

You're definitely not too young, I, and a lot of people on this website, knew I was gay (other than a few questioning moments) from a very young age. However, a lot of people your age are probably more likely to react badly to it than if you waited until you (well really, they) are a bit older. But if you're up for it, go for it! Let us know how it goes

 

I totally agree. I've known that I was gay since around 4th grade. And even before then, I knew that I had somewhat "girly" tendencies and that I was different. My sexuality hasn't wavered a bit; I'm just as gay today as I was back then.

It's really great that your parents have been supportive of their gay friends. That way you know that they won't hate/disown you when you tell them. I don't really know how to answer the question of how do you know when you're ready, because I've only told one person. You definitely should wait until you've completely accepted it and when you're comfortable with your sexuality. Other than that, I think it's just when you feel like you're ready to come out.

 

I agree, any age is okay as long as you're sure.

 

Nah, not at all. I came out when I was 13, before I even started high school too. Come out when you're ready. If you're ready now, then do it. If not, there's no rush, do it when you are.

 

take it from someone who came out at your age... actually my b-day will be the one year anniversary of coming out to my parents... (LOL happy b-day mom n dad I'm gay XD).. lol well anyway be prepared for drama when you tell your parents. there is absolutely NO grey area with this subject. they will either most likely do one of 2 things, freak out (at which it may take some time for them to accept it) or accept it right away, but always remember they still love you. all i can say other than that is what everyone on here told me. good luck to you, ec and all its wonderful members will be here on the side lines cheering you on.

 

There is no age in coming out You come out whenever you feel it is time for the world to know you.

 

I came out when I was 14

 

The only reason to not come out while you are young is if it isn't safe. If there is any chance that your parents would kick you out of the house, or send you to "straight camp," or abuse you in any way, then you should wait to come out.

And in coming out to friends and people at school, safety can be an issue there as well.

Sometimes young people are in circumstances where they are unable to protect themselves or remove themselves from harms way the way that an adult would be able to. In those circumstances, we recommend waiting until you are old enough to have more power over your own life before coming out.

If your parents will be supportive of you as a lesbian, I actually think it's highly advisable that you come out to them, as this will enable them to protect you better from homophobic people outside of your family. Or even homophobic people in your family that might make comments about gay people--if your parents don't know that you identify as a lesbian, they don't know that you will take those kinds of hurtful comments and things personally, and they won't react as strongly to protect you from them.

In any situation where it is safe for you to come out, it is much better for you psychologically. Having a secret like that will create deep feelings of shame, and it will get worse the longer you keep it.

 

Surprisingly, I'd say yes. I kinda came out only to be confused again and now people expect things when I don't really know if that's me :/ everyone different though, and it's your life

 

I don't think your too young if you know for sure and accept yourself as gay.
But i think with you being so young people(family ect..) may not take you too seriously and people may thing ahh well there plenty of time for you to change your mind or 'its just a phase' but that's up to you if you think they will do that. But it can be really annoying.
Also i knew friends that came out in year 8/9 and other students weren't really mature enough to understand it was a normal thing and they got a lot of bullying.
Personally i waited until year 11 so i was age 15/16 and i never got a rude comment at school or anything.

 

You've overcome the hardest part already, and thats accepting who you are. Coming out is scary! But I definitely would encourage you to take your time. I had a hard time accepting that I was lesbian- I tried to make myself believe that I was 'just bisexual'. And during this time, I told my parents I was so. I came out too early and now that I look back, I really wish I hadn't rushed into it. Now they still think I'm going through a bisexual phase or something and the only people who know my true identity are my girlfriend and closest friends. My parents took the news really badly (what with my dad's aggressively strict catholic background) and are still resentful. I just think you should remember that age truly IS just a number and that when you're ready- you'll know. If you know who you are as a person and what you're attracted to- you're never too yound to come out. Just take it slowly; because it will come as a shock no matter how you bring up the subject and all you can do is try to think about their reactions and what you can do to minimize the rejection. Positive reinforcement is key. Best of luck, I hope my story helped. xx

 

First of all, congrats on accepting yourself!

I kind of envy you. I wish I were able to come out when I was 14... but I didn't know/realise I was gay until somewhere last year when I was 21. Knowing and coming out years earlier would've made my life so much easier when it comes to feelings/attraction and getting experience with relationships etc.

So no, I don't believe there's something like "too young to come out". However, I do believe you should wait with coming out until you feel ready and safe to do so. Rushing isn't necessary at all. And you might want to take into account that other people, for example at school, might not be as open-minded as you hope they are. Not to bring you down but kids at school (at least at mine, but judging by other stories this happens at more places) tend to be kind of homophobic, and might be 'mean' (sorry, can't come up with a better word, I'm not a native speaker) cause you're different from the norm. Even though it's completely fine and it doesn't matter at all whether you're gay, lesbian or straight. Or whatever else floats your boat.

Sorry if this makes little sense, it's saturday night and I'm slightly drunk but felt like I needed to share my thoughts.

 

Congrats on accepting yourself!! I wish that I could have come to terms as soon as you have.

I don't think that you are coming out too young. Like others have said, the main concern would be if your parents are homophobic, which it does not sound like they are. I would also make sure that you come out at your own pace. You don't want to rush coming out.

 

I don't think you're necessarily too young but I am going to say a couple of things from personal experience.

1. Do you feel like you have to come out? I remember when I was your age I was only just beginning to accept myself and I remember feeling under a lo of pressure, like 'Oh my god I've just realised I'm queer, now I have to tell people!' Don't pressure yourself. I first came out when I was 15 but honestly when I look back I don't think I was ready.

2. Is it necessary? Do other people really need to know at ths stage? I am going to assume you are single, so it isn't as if you have a partner to tell anyone about. Also there can be difficult consequences of coming out - are you ready to face those yet?

3. How sure are you really? I was absolutely convinced I was a lesbian when I was a teenager, then I got to eighteen and started to reexamine myself, and I realised that while I was attracted to girls, my basis for wanting to be in a relationship with someone wasn't their gender, but the person as a whole. After this I realised I would be better off identifying as bisexual. I'm not saying this will be true for you, it's just what happened to me so I want you to think about it carefully.

If after all that you still think you're ready to come out, go for it! And good luck!

 

Hi!

I don't think that 14 is too young to know who you are and who you like, or necessarily too young to come out and tell other people. As one or two other people have said, if you are thinking about coming out in your early teens, you have to think about not just how ready you are to come out, but how ready your friends and classmates are ready to hear it. I would hope that your friends will all be supportive, but other people at school might not be, and you should consider that.

More importantly, you should consider your parents. That they have gay friends and are supportive of them is a very good sign. But they might still be surprised or upset if you come out to them. You should weigh up the pros and cons carefully. You can always do some subtle research (like watching a TV show with gay characters with them, or watch the news and ask them what they think about gay marriage) to gauge their feelings a bit more. Regardless of their views, they might be surprised when you come out, and might also say 'how can you know, you're too young...' etc. Don't get upset if that happens! My dad told me I was too young to know I was gay when I was nearly 23!

If you're worried that you're not ready to come out yet, then take it easy and wait a bit longer. You need to be comfortable and secure in yourself before you start coming out. I came out once or twice before I was properly ready, which made the whole thing upsetting and really stressful instead of a happy occasion. If you can't say the words to your psychologist, it seems you're not quite ready yet. Be glad that you're young--you've got loads of time, there's no hurry! I think you're ready when coming out doesn't seem like a big deal anymore.