Hi people , recently i accepted that i was gay due to my experiences with men being better than with women. When i have kissed guys it has felt natural and i feel so relaxed like i could melt into them. With women it has felt more forced i mean enjoyable on occasion because yah know it is a kiss (it's nice to be fancied). I have enjoyed being intimate with guys and snuggling up for sleep afterwards. Here is the thing though when i see girls i want approval from them , or to think i'm cute or whatever especially if they are pretty. I can't help thinking that i am going to miss out on that beauty. I have felt romantic towards women in the past and have always been upset by rejection. I can't help feeling that what i feel with guys has been brought on by my bad experiences with girls. Please help i'm all over the place. Also are there any other gay or bi people that have experienced the same feelings in the process of accepting yourself as LGB ? x
What I've been trying to ask myself whilst I've been going through this is whether I feel sexually attracted to girls. I know that I can enjoy sex with them and I completely appreciate their beauty but I've been slowly realising that on some level it's not what I want. I went to a club last night and thought about you and your posts as I was doing what I described before, finding the girls far more attractive to look at but I don't get turned on if I try to think about them in that way. There's something internal powerfully pulling me towards guys. A gut instinct is the best way I can think to describe it. But 'missing out on their beauty' is a great way to put it. One thing though is that I really don't think it's bad experiences with girls that's making you think you like guys, you clearly genuinely do enjoy being with them. Sorry to go on about myself and wish I could offer some concrete advice but it sounds like we're in pretty similar situations. I hope this is a phase that we'll work out sooner rather than later.
Cheers SF , one thing i fear is that i've somehow manifested these feeling (another denial trick maybe?).Hows things with the hubby ? Also don't worry about talking about yourself its good to see if things compare right now i think i am romantically attracted to women. But obviously i like certain things about men.These are things such as nice arms , nice smile or just a feeling of pull that i can't put my finger on. What i don't get is that i still feel nervous round women. From what i've heard most gay men get on with women really well. This ocd doesn't help it plays tricks on me tells me that something i've felt isn't real. I have a date lined up with a nice local guy but i'm worrying that the 3 guys i've liked kissing were isolated cases. Ridiculous i know but i'm very particular for wanting to know things right now. The sit and wait way of doing things doesn't work for me. Like you said i want things to be concrete think i'll go see the doc next week x. ---------- Post added 21st Jul 2012 at 08:42 PM ---------- The other thing is i can't help but want to hold on to heterosexuality , i want normality. Being gay seems alien to me, its like wtf ha ha x
Pansexual is a term when one falls in love with whatever gender. I don't like labels either. I just want to be free, and not think nor hold in what I feel.
I'm going through the same thing emotionally, I have never been with a guy or kissed one but I have wanted to very bad. I relate to your kissing girls thing, It's like "This is...cool", But there is no emotion, and feels forced and sloppy. I think over time you will know what you like, and if you chose a label good, if not, fine. Best of luck
If you find female beauty intoxicating yet don't want it sexually, but do want it on your body, there is a simple explanation for this: trans. True gay men don't find women attractive. They certainly don't feel like they're 'missing out' on it. If you feel sexually drawn to men yet also feel like something is missing, some part of your life is incomplete, it could be your gender identity. Consider whether you find women attractive in a sexual way, or if it's in an envious way.
you don't need to be anything but comfortable with yourself. if that means being friends with women but preferring sex with guys, that's fine. personally, i want an emotional relationship with a woman but feel sexually for both sexes. that is what I'M comfortable with.
Haha, I have ocd too, I know what you mean. I'm like I'm a lesbian! but then feelings come back for men ugh
