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| Coming Out Advice A supportive place to ask for and give advice about coming out. Includes sub-forums for those coming out later in life, and a place to post stories about your coming out experiences. |
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| | #1 |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Female Location: Scotland Age: 21 Posts: 1,346 Join Date: Jan 2012 | just a rant/vent really. i have a lot of friends who are guys but ive lost contact/friendship with most because of their girlfriends. im a lesbian i dont want your boyfriend trust meeee! ughhhh! we barely talk because they arent 'allowed' to talk. they arent allowed to talk to any girl regardless of sexuality or whatever. i know its their problem but he was my friend before he was your stupid boyfriend! anyone been in a similar situation? its annoying!! its just making me really sad because i dont have any friends hardly anymore. sorry i just had to vent.
__________________ What comes before part b? PART-AYYYYY ![]() |
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| | #2 |
| The Epitome of Psychotic Brilliance Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: My Closet is Made of Glass ( ._.) Location: California Posts: 1,661 Join Date: May 2012 | I sorry you feel like your losing friends .But I know exactly how you feel. Granted guys usually arent as crazy with their girlfriends(atleast the ones I know). But, my god let someone know your gay and you must be a serial rapist or something. And I dont mean to be rude, but its always the people that you would never find attractive that think you must be obsessed with them. Its like no people I dont want you or your man/women, get over yourself >_>. |
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| | #3 |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Most Know; Open About It Location: Long Island Age: 15 Posts: 738 Join Date: Jan 2012 | Sorry that their girlfriends are such assholes about it ![]() I wasn't in that exact situation. But my ex-boyfriend was jealous like those girls. He didn't want me to talk to my guy friends, because he didn't trust them. And apparently he didn't trust me either. So I broke up with him. I don't get people like that... ![]() |
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| | #4 |
| Activist, Early Childhood Educator Full Member ![]() Gender: Physically Female, Internally Confused Orientation: Questioning Location: Vancouver Island Age: 20 Posts: 734 Join Date: Nov 2011 | I was never one of those girls, but I saw him at Tim Hortons with a girl friend of his and I had no problem with it - they have been friends for forever, and I was not about to come between that. He messaged me later though explaining that his friend was pretty much his sister and such. So yeah, I do not understand relationships where one person is manipulated into staying away from their old friends. |
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| | #5 |
| I do it MY way ... Regular Member ![]() Gender: Tomboyish female Orientation: Biromantic Heterosexual / Kinsey 1 Out Status: N/A Location: South Africa Age: 24 Posts: 310 Join Date: May 2012 | Something I've learned - the hard way unfortunately - is that when one person in a relationship is insecure to the point where they suspect the other one is cheating on them, they themselves are the ones standing behind the door... I'm going through a similar situation with one of my male friends. He's really and truly like the brother I never had and we were very close. Until he went and got with this girl who nobody in the family likes, she's dumb as a rock (wait, can't insult a rock like that!) and she's really immature, insecure and possesive. He's not allowed to come over for coffee without her because she doesn't trust the two of us together I guess. Honestly, we've tried the dating thing and it didn't work for us. We decided to be good friends and we've even slept next to each other in the same bed once and nothing happened. That's how close we are, and how we see each other: FRIENDS - NO benefits. Ok, that was before he got the girlfriend but still. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's always hard seeing friendships suffer because of a jealous/insecure partner. I wish you all the best and hope things get sorted and hope their eyes are opened soon so they can see what their current relationships are doing to the friendship. I for one will definitely listen to my friends if they told me the person I'm with is not doing anybody any good. Even if it breaks my heart to hear it. You say you hardly talk but why not try to meet them somewhere and discuss this with them, or even a quick phonecall?
__________________ Simplicity Lies In Acceptance Of Reality "Never Sacrifice Who You Are Just Because Someone Has A Problem With It" Last edited by VelvetBlade; 22nd Jul 2012 at 10:35 AM.. |
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| | #6 |
| I'M CRAZY!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some Location: I'm Asian. Age: 21 Posts: 1,149 Join Date: Jun 2012 ![]() Tournaments Won: 1 | Well that is really stupid! Why don't the guys do anything about it? Geez! It's like the Overly Attached Girlfriend! |
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| | #7 |
| May all beings be happy EC Advisor ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Mostly homosexual, panromantic Out Status: Out to eveyone as gay, a few as panromantic Location: Alaska Age: 23 Posts: 3,107 Join Date: Mar 2010 | I find that sort of behavior highly disturbing, borderline abusive, actually, as it isolates the partner being told to abandon half of their friends (or more if the partner's bisexual). Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do about it at this point.
__________________ So with a boundless mind may I cherish all living things, Suffusing love over the entire world - Above, below, and all around, without limit; So may I cultivate an infinite good will toward the whole world. - Metta Sutta |
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| | #8 |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Female Location: Scotland Age: 21 Posts: 1,346 Join Date: Jan 2012 | velvet im always one to be really blunt and flat out say of things arent right and they have heard this over and over from me but do nothing. i dont blame them it is their relationship and i understand i cant come between them. but still i still want a quick phonecall/chat once in a while but no hardly ever lucky if its once every 3 months ![]() even if its with their s/o in tow if we met up for a coffee or something i wouldnt mind but no. still not allowed. ![]() ive tryed theres nothing i can really do though. ---------- Post added 22nd Jul 2012 at 08:38 PM ---------- mogget - even family is out of the question of contact some of the time so yeah... it is isolating for them. :\
__________________ What comes before part b? PART-AYYYYY ![]() |
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| | #9 |
| Figuring it out one day at a time Regular Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 14 down, bunch more to go ;) Location: Soon-to-be-frozen again White North :-( Posts: 294 Join Date: Jun 2012 | Two to tango... There's probably a bit of insecurity in those guys' perspective as well. Otherwise why would they listen to everything the girlfriend demands without questioning any of it (not allowed to see your long-time friends? huh?)? Maybe they're so afraid of being dumped or being single that they do "whatever it takes" to keep that girlfriend, or any girlfriend?
__________________ “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” - Dr. Seuss |
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| | #10 | |
| as queer as a clockwork orange Full Member ![]() Gender: Comfortably female, but androgyne-minded Orientation: Somewhere between bi and pansexual Out Status: School/Friends, Some Family & Therapist Location: Monument, Colorado Age: 14 Posts: 950 Join Date: Jun 2012 | Quote:
Sadly, there are so many immature/ insecure girls out there that you can't throw a stick without hitting one anymore *facepalm*
__________________ "You're perfectly flawed, You're perfectly incomplete. Like cracks in the glass, And faded photographs..." ~Otep <3 | |
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| | #11 |
| ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Full Member Gender: Female Location: NYC Age: 22 Posts: 630 Join Date: Jun 2012 | Yep, but to be fair, I'm also a very competitive friend. My best friend is a guy and whenever he's dating a girl, it's full on psychological warfare, from forgetting her name to making him cancel plans with her. It's never relationship-threatening, and he does the same thing when I'm dating someone. |
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| | #12 |
| Grand Widow Derpina Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual/Demisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: USA Age: 24 Posts: 146 Join Date: Jul 2012 | Okay, I'm not going to lie. I'm a girl. All of my best friends are guys. When they get new girlfriends, I test those skanks . The ones who are okay with giving us our space as friends and who realize that they are dating my guy friend and that they do not own him, those girls get my stamp of approval. There haven't been very many, though =/. It's really unfortunate when you know a guy friend will put up with that. All you can really do is tell him what she's doing and know that love blinds. We've (almost?) all been there. He'll wake up to it one day and you should be there to give him a hug and tell him it's okay (but of course that you hope he's learned from it!) when that does happen. |
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