Well, I'm kinda new here, but, I figure I'll ask and say this on here... I've known I'm Gay for about.. 4 or 5 years now. Something happened after I dated my first guy, and for some reason I fell in love with this girl, I told myself that I wouldn't have sex with her, because I felt like sexuality was just a preference of who you will have sex with... Well ever since then, I have been depressed, and I've dated a few girls too, one of them, I could have stayed with forever but sadly 2 months ago she passed away from cancer... For a while, because of this, I identified as Pansexual, this whole time I was depressed. I know I am Gay, and I've known the whole time... The feeling kept coming back every day that I was with girls... Well now I am identifying as Gay again, but it feels weird... Like my ribs are tightening in my chest every time I say to myself "I'm Gay". I don't know what it is that is making me feel this way, I mean I am happy, I can finally be who I am again, but why would I be feeling this if I'm actually happy?
Sorry to hear about everything you've gone through, especially losing your girlfriend to cancer. That sounds awful. (*hug*) That said, it sounds like you're more or less happy that at this point you can "be who you are again." What's your current environment like? Are you living with anyone? Working, going to school? And most importantly, what do the people around you think about gay people? Also, how long has it been since you last dated? Finally, welcome to the site - glad you found your way here, and I hope you like it.
I'm actually dating a nice guy right now, but something about him keeps making me feel like he's pushing me away... I'm a attending a career school and such, but my school is FILLED with people like me... I'm living with my parents because I'm still just in school, but my father or step-mother has never really said anything bad OR good about homosexuality, they've never really talked about it
