Help. Why does she act like this to me? So confused. Lesbian, In denial, the closet?

[heygirl128]

A bit long but i promise its interesting!
im a lipstick lesbian so most people assume im straight..
anyways so i met this girl one night( we are both in college), my guy friend was telling someone how im a lesbian and "so hot" and the second he said that, this girl's eyes shot to me, we locked eyes, then she looked away super fast and at the ground. Then immediately acted super shy towards me, almost to the point of becoming mute lol she wouldnt say a word, would look at me then away immediately, acted very tense so i figured maybe she hated gay people, or was definitely gay and scared of her attraction to me. she acted very nervous, which has happened to me before ( i guess ppl say b/c i am good looking). Well later in the night i said i have to go to the bathroom to some of the group, and when i said that she sprung up and goes " Oh ill go with u!" i was completely surprised and confused cus she hadnt said anything all night until that moment LOL....well so then she made moves on me and we madeout multiple times then were holdin hands, cuddling kissing, makin out, had her arm around me around my waist while walking, etc, and this was in private and like in an area of the party not around many people, a few friends i was with saw us and a few other random ppl but it wasnt like we were doing it for attention. So yea we did that all night her initiating pretty much everything the kisses, holding hands,etc, exchanged numbers , and told this guy who was hittin on me "This is MY girlfriend, we are lesbians meaning not into boys" (which completely suprised me as well) so i figured wow, this girl definitely is a lesbian or somethin....

Well then after that night she avoided me for over a year, i tried adding her on facebook (few days after this all happened) but she denied my request then blocked me FOR NO REASON and wouldnt speak to me. I tried texting her but no response so i figured to give up i didnt want to get involved in this....i figured she either hated me( for some unexplainable reason!), or was super scared of her feelings... Well then i ran into her over a year later, my friend said " that girl over there keeps looking at u", then i looked and saw Omg it was this girl, she looked away super fast. i tried going up to her about 10 minutes later, she like ran away from me no joke lol, but i eventually got her to atleast say "hey" back to me and then i asked "can we atleast be civil this is ridiculous?" , she immediately was like " i never hated u, " I asked her y she avoided me for so long and she said "I felt ashamed and embarrassed"... she just acted very nervous and tense while we were chatting. then my friend came to get me cus we were leaving and she asked me " where are u going later?" i figured she must not hate me then. etc...she unblocked me on facebook after that nite, and even followed / added me FIRST on another site a few months later, what the hell?. i figured she must be a lesbian then.

but yea when i see her she randomly flirts with me now, like Big and i mean BIG hugs,she even picked me up one time when she saw me walking on the sidewalk (no one she knew was around, i didnt see her but she came up to me put her face in mine and picked me up with the biggest smile on her face, then was staring at my lips....i was totally shocked), big smiles at me, and looking when im not looking at her(a few friends of mine have told me), in text messages has called me "Hun" etc, which i find odd since we arent "friends". Ive tried to be just her friend-do what friends do, like hang out, but apparently she cant do that. , so idk what to call us haha...but other times is VERY cold to me or even super avoids me, but still stares from a distance, and even RUNS AWAY, or just acts very awkward, for example when me and some of my friends walked into the bar one night, she obviously saw me but she hugged and said hi to everyone but me, but drawing attention to herself so i would "notice she was there". Mostly when she is around her friends she acts awkward but even at times when her girl friends arent around.... super confusing i just dont know what is going on. just like me she doesnt "look gay", so nobody would really suspect anything . (nobody knows about me and her hooking up except a few of my good friends) but some other people who know her think something is up with her and dont think she is straight. people have wondered why she never really hooks up with guys, and she has never had a boyfriend in the few years that i have known her. But she puts on the "image" of being straight to her friends.... i have tried to ask her to hangout a few times and 1 time she did,she acted very tense then literally started avoiding me and asked a friend to take her home.I asked a few other times but usually she says she's busy with work/school, shes obv scared of something.One time when i wasnt there at this party yet, she asked one of my friends (a gay guy) where i was, my friend told me this, but then when i got there and said hi to her she acted shy, awkward and acted like she didnt care i was there. ...y would she ask where i was then? something must be going on. and i dont think she is psycho because she only treats me like this. Would a straight person act like this? Do u think shes in the closet or denial? EVerytime she avoids me i tell myself " well maybe she is straight just 4get it" but then she does something which completely blows my mind and i dont get why someone would act this way. Maybe scared of her intense feelings 4 me? Will she ever come around? What do u think her behavior means? Thanks !

Wow, that's got to be so hard on you!
I mean one minute, she's all over you then BAM; ignored!
In my opinion, it sounds as though she might be in the closet or in denial. It is a bit odd that she wants to know where you are and what you're doing but ignores you to your face. You never know though, it could be that she has a huge crush on you and therefore feels really nervous. It sounds so intense.
I doubt this has helped much but, hey I tried right?
I really hope someday soon she just opens up and explains to you why she is doing all this and how she feels. This is just a lot on you.

[Ianthe]

She is clearly freaking out about her own sexuality. She likes you, but she is ashamed of her sexuality so she behaves strangely.

I don't know if I think it would be a good idea for you to go out with her, but you should definitely try to be there for her as a friend. She clearly needs gay friends.