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Multiple gay children?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by prism, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. prism

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    How common is it for families to have multiple gay children? I know that there are studies confirming the increased probability of a twin being homosexual when the other is, but what about children that are born years apart?

    Before you quote the research that suggests younger sons are born more feminine than their older brothers, consider my case.

    My older sister is a lesbian. She is borderline butch and has been out for a very long time. My parents were disappointed, but accepting, and it's pretty much old news for our family.

    My older brother is definitely gay but in the closet. He probably won't ever come out.

    I've always known that I was a lesbian, and I have a younger brother who is as straight as a ruler, but still has some feminine qualities.

    One would think my sister's coming out would make it easier for my brother and I to come out, but it only makes it harder. All I can think about is how 3/4 gay children would make my family look in our conservative and traditional community. People would think my parents raised us wrong.

    Are there other families like mine? Do you believe that there are biological and genetic factors that determine sexuality?
     
  2. musikk021

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    I don't know about other families who have multiple gay children, but I definitely believe that sexuality is biological. In fact, I'm pretty sure it doesn't have much to do with nurture/how you're raised at all. If I grew up in a different household under different circumstances around different people, I'm sure I'd still be gay. Sexuality is innate; people just realize it or come to acknowledge it at different times in their lives. Circumstances don't "turn" a person gay.
     
  3. bob94

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    This is slightly off topic, but have you ever tried talking to your brother about his sexuality? Do you think it would help him if you told him you're gay, that way he would have somebody similar to talk to?
     
  4. Bobbgooduk

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    I agree with Bob - I think you maybe learn from your family about relationships - whether you find it easy or difficult to make friends, keep friends, commit to a relationship - but I think you're born gay.

    Just as your genetics determine most how tall you'll grow, your build, eye colour etc, I have no difficulty accepting that several children from the same genetic background would have similar sexual traits.
     
  5. Chip

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    I know of several families where multiple siblings are gay. I know of quite a few families where there are a bunch of LGBT people in the extended families (cousins, nieces, nephews, aunts/uncles.)

    I'm not aware of any reliable studies looking at this but anecdotally I know for sure of families where 2 or 3 siblings from the same parents are all gay or lesbian.
     
  6. boilingintexas

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    There are studies (I don't remember the names) that suggest that the youngest children in the family have the greatest chance of being homosexual. Something about a hormone the mother produces during pregnancy that gets weaker for each child.

    Sorry, I didn't really read that well, I've been up too long. I'm about ready to fall over as it is.
     
    #6 boilingintexas, Jul 24, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2012
  7. csocm

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    Me and my brother are both gay. I was never 100% sure about him, but I sorta guessed it. If going by stereotypes, he got the girlier traits, and I got the more guyish ones. Like hes the one who loves shopping, knows the brands, dresses nicely. I HATE shopping, I still wear mostly tshirts and shorts. I'm the one who plays sports (softball and golf, very stereotypical).
     
  8. Meropspusillus

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    Pretty much every study on the issue has been on homosexual males. I think there have been comparatively very few studies on homosexual women. There is no doubt some degree of genetic component in homosexuality. However, I'm inclined to hypothesize that your mother's genetics play a larger role in whether you turn out homosexual than your own.
     
  9. LailaForbidden

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    My uncle has 8 kids and most of them (men and women) are gay. Now, his family is steeped in Mormon conservatism and it has taken my cousins until their mid-to-late twenties to come out. Some haven't come out at all, but live happy lives with their partners. And then there's me and a couple more cousins that arent in my uncle's family. But my point is, yes, there are families like yours. Which definitley supports the genetic theory. And if someone thinks its a result of your upbringing, well, i'd just try to ignore them as hard as that is because its just not supported by any studies and such.
     
  10. ToTheCeilingFan

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    I heard something, I think in the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So", that mentioned that the more older siblings a boy has, the more likely he is to be gay. But like Meropspusillus said, there haven't been many studies on lesbians. :/
     
  11. Spatula

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    I am going to be in the minority in this thread, but I think it is a social construct. Years ago, when I had a very strong straight preference, I thought it was genetic. Since then... events in my life have forced me to reevaluate.
     
  12. MusicIsLife

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    Someone once said, "Some people are straight...til they're not, and some people are gay...til they're not." Sexuality is fluid and though I do believe that parts of it are determined in the womb, i believe sexuality changes as you go through life.

    I am Trans, my little brother is calling himself bisexual and likes to crossdress, and my youngest brother is a rugby jock who as far as I know is straight.

    I think it's more common than not, people are just scared to be themselves.
     
  13. Spatula

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    Heh... "Some people are born gay, some people are made gay, and some people have gayness thrust upon them".
     
  14. timo

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    There are quite some gay people in my extended family, I have (at least) two gay cousins, and a lot of extended family I never see so who knows what I might find there. Besides that I do have suspicions on my (younger, only) sister being gay (or at least bi) too. She's 18, never dated, and is way more guy-ish than I am so I wouldn't be surprised if she'd come out some day too.

    But it's just a guess. Me and my sister not close AT ALL, we hardly ever speak (just a few words when I'm at my parents' place once a month, apart from that never. we're so different), so talking to her about sexuality is out of the question. My sexuality is none of her business and on the other hand I have nothing to do with how she feels.
     
  15. VanceA

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    For my extended family 1st-3rd cousins there are 13 gay people out of 56 including myself.
     
  16. prism

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    Thank you all for your input. As far as I know, I do not have any gay or lesbian extended family members.

    To those that suggested I talk to my closeted brother, he and I don't get along and rarely speak to each other. He would just deny it, and I'm not ready to come out. It would just create more bad blood between us.
     
  17. BudderMC

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    I'm not gonna quote everything I'm touching on, because that'd be a lot of quotes, but I will comment on some stuff. I just read an article given for my psych class theorizing on the genetics of homosexuality and things.

    First off, there's much fewer studies on lesbians than gay men because women, in general, are much more sexually fluid than men. It's the same reason why there's generally less sex-studies on women than men; they're just really hard to study. Men are typically on one extreme of sexuality (predominantly men or women), whereas women are more likely than men to fall under the "bisexual" ranges.

    It's been replicated several times over that the more older brothers a guy has, the more likely he is to be gay. That one's actually relatively well proven. The researchers in the paper theorized that maybe it's an immune system reaction. The mother's womb, for the first male child, develops an immune reaction to prevent some factor in male fetal development. With each successive male child, this reaction becomes more honed, meaning it'd be more likely for a male child to have whatever factor be blocked to the point that he exhibits more feminine factors, such as a sexual desire for men.

    That older brother effect ("fraternal birth order effect") only applies in right-handed men, apparently. The article also stated that in general, left-handed men are more likely to be gay than right-handed men. Not necessarily relevant, but interesting.

    Their study showed that gay men typically had larger families than straight men. Additionally, their mothers/aunts typically had more sexual encounters with men, fewer miscarriages, fewer infections, and used fewer contraceptives than mothers/aunts of straight men. They theorize that then, maybe this "gay gene" is actually one in the mothers/aunts that makes them desire men more. Having one child with no chance of passing on genes (the gay one) is little in comparison to having another 3-4 healthy children that will. Evolutionarily-speaking that is.

    The last theory they touched on was the idea that this "gay gene" actually makes men more feminine. By making men more feminine, it allows them to be warmer/softer/kinder/etc., basically all the qualities that would show a woman he'd be a good parent. Then, in some men, there's an excess of this gene that causes them to actually desire men instead of women.

    Every time they list a theory on a "gay gene" or something though, they usually follow it with the idea that it only accounts for < 30% of the cases. There's still a lot to be learned about the subject, but it's a start.
     
  18. JustKeepRunning

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    "There are studies (I don't remember the names) that suggest that the youngest children in the family have the greatest chance of being homosexual. Something about a hormone the mother produces during pregnancy that gets weaker for each child."

    This was from a study (I think done in Canada) that showed that the more older male biological siblings a boy has, the more likely he is to be gay. The theory is that the mother's body builds up a resistance to the foreign androgen hormones (i.e. testosterone) that are produced in the womb when carrying a male child.

    Other studies have been done that show a strong correlation between the sexual orientation of twins, but it does also show a slight increase in the likelihood that one child will be gay if another sibling is gay.

    To date, there's no real evidence of a gene that causes homosexuality, but there are very strong links to support the idea that homosexuality (and aspects of gender identity) are the result of the hormone levels a fetus was exposed to in utero. Interestingly, finger length and hand dominance are linked to testosterone levels, and lesbians are more likely than straight women to have "masculine" hands and gays and lesbians are both more likely than straights to be left handed. So, while not entirely genetic, it seems highly likely that multiple children from the same mother could be gay because it does have everything to do with how her body uniquely produces hormones when pregnant.

    Yeah, science!
     
  19. Neo

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    I can relate to your situation, I have an older brother and sister who are 9 and 7 years older than me, my brother is straight, but my sister is a lesbian and has been out for a long time. My parents too were initially disappointed, but quickly came around and are now very accepting of her, and despite their acceptance I feel that for a long time it would make it harder for me to come out to my parents, because then 2/3 of their children would be gay (and some of our extended family is not entirely accepting).

    What I eventually realized is that if they are accepting of her for who she is, then I can't see any reason why they wouldn't accept me for who I am too. It sounds like your parents have accepted your sister, so it stands to reason that while they might still might not take it easily at first, they will come around. Have you tried talking with your sister at all about this? I came out to my sister first specifically because she is a lesbian and would be a great source of support and advice as I try to figure out how to come out to my parents.
     
  20. DanA

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    So, here is an interesting little tidbit about me.

    My father is the second youngest of seven kids. Two girls before him, then one girl after him. The oldest are three boys. Now, I'm gay and I'm my father's only son (remember, he's the sixth youngest in a family of seven) and his oldest brother, who has three kids, also has a gay son (my cousin) who is the youngest of his kids. I wonder if the "gay gene" (to use an outdated phrase that helps to simplify the complexities of homosexuality) runs in our family strongly with low birth order men. In terms of the science I've read behind the genetic reasons for being gay, it seems to fit the narrative. But, anecdotal evidence from one person is no evidence at all. Still, it’s interesting when compared with the research.

    Does anybody else feel that being gay is nature’s way to control population? Seeing as how it is an observable phenomenon in the natural world with other mammals, I gather that it is a natural thing and what that thing does is reroute our attraction and sexual desires towards that with which we biologically cannot procreate. Therefore, keeping the birth rate down by a certain percentage but, perhaps, it negatively affects the genetic future of the species by making the gene pool less diverse through an exclusion based on hormonal chemistry. Although, the shear fact that homosexuality exists in great numbers shows that it’s a built in trait that is activated through a natural process and exists in all humans always. Now the question I ask is that if a genetic sequence that causes my internal chemistry to tell my brain and body that I desire men sexually and emotionally is triggered by a random sequence during the development of the fetus when DNA from both gametes start writing the foundation of a unique new person in the first 4 weeks OR if environmental factors play a part in homosexuality when coupled with variables such as birth order and cause the “gay gene” to be activated during that same process of fetal development. So in other words, at times of high population in a diverse community is homosexuality more prevalent as a relative percentage than at times of relatively low population in a diverse community? Does “A” beget “B”. I’m looking for a cause and effect pattern to the activation of the “gay gene.” That is research I find interesting.

    Dammit Jim, I’m not a geneticist or a practitioner of hard sciences (I deal with more of the humanities in my career), but does that make any sense or am I really dumb for a smart guy?

    Can somebody point me in the direction of that kind of research I can read if it's a viable theory?
     
    #20 DanA, Jul 25, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2012