So I have a homosexual friend that I have known for years, and he has always had a crush on me. When I came out, he was the only friend that had figured it out before hand. Now that I'm not trying to hide that part of me anymore, I'm finding that I'm actually starting to have feelings for him. Will it be a bad idea in the long run? Can a gay man still have the same quality of relationship with a post-op transwoman that he had before the hormone treatment? Any helpful advice should be welcome.
Well I know he's gay, so he only likes boys. But if he ends up loving you enough, it probably wouldn't matter if you're a guy or girl. cuz everyone has a preference, but we still end up falling mainly for the personality, not the sex parts. And you're saying he still has a crush on you, even tho he knows your trans? Id say it either hasn't sunk in yet, or he just doesn't care. I mean, I'm not telling you to try it for sure. I'm not sure what you should do, only you can answer that for youself. But if it were me, I might.
I would say that's something for him to decide. If he has a full awareness of the situation, where you're going with this, and what sort of a timetable things are working on, then I don't see any reason why you two shouldn't date. Of course, keep in mind that if he's part of your support network for coming out, that there is always the possibility of things not working out - I don't mean to be negative, but I think that a person's support network should be wider than the one person they choose to date (partly because eventually you'll want to talk to someone else about him). Hope this helps! It's a complicated question - any new feelings on it since posting?
Thanks for the support everyone, and I think you are right. I do care about him, so I think I should at least give it a try. Every relationship can end badly, I shouldn't let that keep me from trying. Now I just have to find a way to tell him that. . .
