Gay one day and straight the next - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

dc101 · 24th Jul 2012, 12:53 PM

It's been a while since I posted and I know when I previously posted people on this site really helped. I tried coming to terms with being gay but I just can't get there. My attitude changes daily so for example yesterday I was thinking I could hide the fact I'm gay and get married and start a family.

Today I'm thinking that I need to get over this and move on. It can't be healthy and I know I keep changing my dating profiles from straight to gay almost daily. I don't know what to do and every time I start thinking about talking to someone I freeze and almost have a panic attack.

I found a local LGBT club but started thinking what if someone sees me going in or someone there knows me. I'm lost and now at the point where it's affecting my day to day life on a serious scale.

Olls91 · 24th Jul 2012, 01:47 PM

Hey there , forgive me if i'm wrong but sounds to me like you don't want others to think you are gay and that is a valid feeling when accepting yourself. Looks like you have trouble telling others which is also common. Have you tried talking to a trusted friend about things or someone else you trust.As for changing your profile from straight to gay well it's a profile i could put on here i'm a flying unicorn with a crash helmet it wouldn't make it so. Do you like any one currently or are you finding that your anxiety is getting in the way of everything. I hope i can help a bit i've just accepted myself and i still question now and then but hey you are you. So tell me what bothers you most about the situation ?

dc101 · 24th Jul 2012, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olls91

Hey there , forgive me if i'm wrong but sounds to me like you don't want others to think you are gay and that is a valid feeling when accepting yourself. Looks like you have trouble telling others which is also common. Have you tried talking to a trusted friend about things or someone else you trust.As for changing your profile from straight to gay well it's a profile i could put on here i'm a flying unicorn with a crash helmet it wouldn't make it so. Do you like any one currently or are you finding that your anxiety is getting in the way of everything. I hope i can help a bit i've just accepted myself and i still question now and then but hey you are you. So tell me what bothers you most about the situation ?

I can't accept being gay, I've always wanted to grow up, get married and have children (with a woman). There isn't anyone I can discuss it with and I'm not happy about typing it but I'm at the point where I lay in bed every night thinking. I'm friends with my ex girlfriend on facebook but we haven't spoken in years and she's now married to a great guy and living the perfect life. It's the life I wanted and if I wasn't gay it would have worked out so well with her and I'd be married with children by now.

It's depressing and I just can't see myself with a guy, I'm a bit chocked up now so I'm going to leave it there for now.

Olls91 · 24th Jul 2012, 02:19 PM

OK there is nothing wrong with taking it slow , i myself have really wanted what you describe but yer , you know you can have all those things with a guy too. Feel free not to answer right now or at all but why do you think you are gay ? x

---------- Post added 24th Jul 2012 at 10:22 PM ----------

Also if you are wanting one to one advice at all , you can e-mail the admin guys here i spoke to one Ben and he was lovely no one bites here

, you can find their links in the sticky thread "individual support" at the top of the support section

x

24th Jul 2012, 12:53 PM	#1
dc101 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Questioning Posts: 86 Join Date: May 2012 Tournaments Won: 1	Gay one day and straight the next It's been a while since I posted and I know when I previously posted people on this site really helped. I tried coming to terms with being gay but I just can't get there. My attitude changes daily so for example yesterday I was thinking I could hide the fact I'm gay and get married and start a family. Today I'm thinking that I need to get over this and move on. It can't be healthy and I know I keep changing my dating profiles from straight to gay almost daily. I don't know what to do and every time I start thinking about talking to someone I freeze and almost have a panic attack. I found a local LGBT club but started thinking what if someone sees me going in or someone there knows me. I'm lost and now at the point where it's affecting my day to day life on a serious scale.

24th Jul 2012, 01:47 PM	#2
Olls91 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 56 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: Gay one day and straight the next Hey there , forgive me if i'm wrong but sounds to me like you don't want others to think you are gay and that is a valid feeling when accepting yourself. Looks like you have trouble telling others which is also common. Have you tried talking to a trusted friend about things or someone else you trust.As for changing your profile from straight to gay well it's a profile i could put on here i'm a flying unicorn with a crash helmet it wouldn't make it so. Do you like any one currently or are you finding that your anxiety is getting in the way of everything. I hope i can help a bit i've just accepted myself and i still question now and then but hey you are you. So tell me what bothers you most about the situation ?

24th Jul 2012, 02:19 PM	#4
Olls91 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Posts: 56 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: Gay one day and straight the next OK there is nothing wrong with taking it slow , i myself have really wanted what you describe but yer , you know you can have all those things with a guy too. Feel free not to answer right now or at all but why do you think you are gay ? x ---------- Post added 24th Jul 2012 at 10:22 PM ---------- Also if you are wanting one to one advice at all , you can e-mail the admin guys here i spoke to one Ben and he was lovely no one bites here , you can find their links in the sticky thread "individual support" at the top of the support section x