Hello everyone, I made this post because I have been asking myself these for a while now and I would like others to tell me their opinion. I know my friend since 2004, we grew up together and go to the same school. Last year he has been acting in a more gay manner, I know he is not gay because he has been and goes out with women. I am straight but I have no problem with gay people, on of my best friends came out to me last year and we are still close friends but I want to know if this is happening again. As I mentioned above, this started about an year ago. When we are in class and no one watches, he rests his feet on top of mine, or sits sideways and places his legs on top of mine or his feet under my legs (I usually do nothing about it so I do not make him uncomfortable, maybe he is getting the wrong impression). He also quickly touches my dick or b.lls. but when I try to do the same (as a joke) he takes my hand off. When he is in my house, and we are in the same bed playing PS3 he also rests his legs on top of mine or quickly touches my parts and some times he tries to kiss me in the lips. He also told me several times things such as I wanna f... you, I love you, etc. When we talk about gay people or gay rights he acts very homophobic and once told me that if he was gay and he came out, no one would talk to him anymore. I then told him that that was not true and everyone would still be his friend. Maybe I am being paranoid but I would like to know what you think. I believe he is straight because he flirts and goes out with women, he also is very manly and plays sports. But he might be curious and maybe thinks I am too because I do not react negatively to the things he does.
I know this much is easier said than done, but if you want to know, ask him. Make sure he knows you would be accepting and that he doesn't HAVE to tell you if he doesn't want to. Being very manly and playing sports doesn't mean he can't be attracted to men. Yes, some gay/bi men are feminine...but so are some straight men. And acting homophobic can be an attempt to cover up his own sexuality; if he admits to supporting LGBT rights he might think that may make you wonder why he feels that way. If any of the things he's doing bother you, ask him to stop and remind him you're straight. Other than that I don't have much advice for you, sorry.
It's always hard to say no matter what the signs are; but, it would sound more likely than not he's testing the water. You'll never be able to make him come out, but you can always be there for him and make it as comfortable as possible for him when he's ready to. Side note: You should be careful that you don't lead him on. It's a hard line to figure out between closeness and flirting - if you're comfortable with him putting his legs/feet on you, that's fine; but, don't playfully reciprocate. It'll lead up to more in his mind and if/when he does finally come out to you he'll also have a crush...and crushed feelings when he finds out you love him - but only as a friend.
Yes definitely, if he is bisexual/gay then this is a huge tease for him. You should try not to make any physical contact with him until you are sure of his orientation, it would be best to withdraw from the feet contact too, as a lot of people do that as a test to see how you respond. The dating part is nothing. I dated about 12 girls before I finally accepted my sexuality, a lot of gay people date multiple girls to tell themselves they're straight, that they won't have to face upto the difficulties of being LGBT. The fact he said he wouldn't be liked if he came out says something pretty major. It's probably safe to just simply ask him. If you do ask if he is gay, then make sure you emphasize that you don't care at all, and that you won't tell anyone unless he wants you to. I had some close friends who I knew would accept me during my closetted years, but I didn't tell them because I was afraid they would tell everyone, thus spreading it to the people I didn't want to find out. It's a bit of a sticky situation, there are tonnes of stories about gays wishing somebody asked them if they were gay with reassurance, and stories of gays wishing nobody asked them. I personally wished somebody asked me, it would make the whole process much easier just having 1 person nearby that I can be myself around and not worry about anything. All the best.
Since you guys are such great friends, I'd just ask him in a nice and friendly way how he feels. He definitely sounds curious if you ask me. Are you the only one he does that kind of stuff with?
Ok, I will stop "flirting" back at him so he does not get the wrong idea but I will never be able to ask him, he would be really bothered and my friendship with him is too important to risk it, I would just like to know so I can help him and he can feel relieved. I am not sure if he is bisexual, he has kissed two guys before, once he was drunk and the other one was with a friend but it was a bet and he has been out with a lot of women. The other thing that makes me doubt is that he looks better than me. I am an average looking teen: 1,80m, green eyes, blond and somewhat muscular. And also, I see him flirting or chatting with other women with the phone.
He only does this kind of stuff with me as far as I know, at least in school. The other day I went to his house and he asked me "if i was fat and gay, would you still be my friend?" I don't know if he was just making a joke because he isn't fat, he said this out of the blue. I told him I would still be his friend and we continued to talk about something else. He also did the same things he usually does: resting his feet on top of mine, quickly touching my legs near my parts and trying to kiss me.
Hmm, I wouldn't say those particular signs point to him being gay, because I know a lot of straight guys who do exactly the same thing, but it's evident that they're not being serious. I've kissed my best friend on the lips, spooned etc. but for some reason, deep down, I don't think he's gay at all, I just know if he was, he wouldn't do those things. I know I wouldn't go around kissing guys, resting my legs on them and touching them - I'd be too afraid I'd be making my sexuality obvious. So I think guys who do those kind of things, are straight, because they're comfortable to do so.
If he really did ask you out of the blue i would say something is up. And yeah there are bromances but they don't typically involve kissing everytime you guys are near each other
