Not sure what I should do - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Neo · 24th Jul 2012, 11:30 PM

So I am in the process of applying to medical schools, and one of the more frequent essays on the applications asks us to describe the greatest personal challenge that we have faced. I know for sure for me that my greatest challenge has been coming to grips with my sexuality and the fact that my denial of being gay resulted in years of self-esteem issues and depression, and that as I have come to accept myself for who I am that I have developed a better sense of self-worth. I can't really think of any other significant personal challenges especially when compared to something like that.

The only problem is that I am still in the closet to everyone except for a very few people, and the idea of coming out to people that will be judging (and interviewing) me for admission to very competitive programs and who may or may not hold it against me makes me think I should come up with something else, even though it will not be as significant. I have also been told by some people that in general the medical field tends to be more conservative and that it is always a better idea to play it safe rather than risk writing or talking about something that can be politically or socially divisive.

Any advice at all, especially if you have any experience with this, as to what you think I should do would be a huge help. I am currently leaning towards not writing about it, or to maybe try it with some of the schools that I think might be more open-minded and not with some others. What do you think?

xxnevadarlingxx · 24th Jul 2012, 11:39 PM

I think its amazing that you have overcome such struggle however I don't think your application for a medical program is the place to celebrate that victory. As if the coming out situation it will get easier to tell more people as you become more comfortable with yourself.

Bobbgooduk · 25th Jul 2012, 12:03 AM

Normally, I would be completely open about sexuality, but I would ask you to consider this before submitting your application:

Rightly or wrongly, there are still a lot of people out there who associate GAY with HIV and AIDS.

Until recently, in the UK gay men were not allowed to be blood donors - it was a simple way of reassuring the general, ignorant public that the blood they were given was "safe".
It was assumed that gay men all engaged in activities which placed their blood on the high risk register!

I have seen signs in doctors' and dentists' surgeries saying that homosexuals should inform their doctor of their sexual orientation - I suppose so they can wear a body suit and armoured gloves before they treat you.

A medical school might not look so favourably on a student who might be "perceived" as a higher risk - if you are "out" you might, for arguments sake, cause a patient to be worried he might catch something off you.

Now, I realize that this is all tosh, that it doesn't fit with civil liberties and stuff, but the fact is, you WANT to get into medical school and I'd hate to think that your gayness might be used to disqualify you if it comes down to a choice between you and someone else.

Shitty, I know!

You success over the odds and your acceptance of yourself are, indeed, a defining moment in your life AND something you can be justly proud of BUT: could you perhaps be really proud of playing trombone in the marching band instead? Just for the sake of your application?

24th Jul 2012, 11:30 PM	#1
Neo Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Seattle, WA Age: 27 Posts: 12 Join Date: Jul 2012	Not sure what I should do So I am in the process of applying to medical schools, and one of the more frequent essays on the applications asks us to describe the greatest personal challenge that we have faced. I know for sure for me that my greatest challenge has been coming to grips with my sexuality and the fact that my denial of being gay resulted in years of self-esteem issues and depression, and that as I have come to accept myself for who I am that I have developed a better sense of self-worth. I can't really think of any other significant personal challenges especially when compared to something like that. The only problem is that I am still in the closet to everyone except for a very few people, and the idea of coming out to people that will be judging (and interviewing) me for admission to very competitive programs and who may or may not hold it against me makes me think I should come up with something else, even though it will not be as significant. I have also been told by some people that in general the medical field tends to be more conservative and that it is always a better idea to play it safe rather than risk writing or talking about something that can be politically or socially divisive. Any advice at all, especially if you have any experience with this, as to what you think I should do would be a huge help. I am currently leaning towards not writing about it, or to maybe try it with some of the schools that I think might be more open-minded and not with some others. What do you think? __________________ There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

24th Jul 2012, 11:39 PM	#2
xxnevadarlingxx Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Amarillo, Texas Age: 24 Posts: 16 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: Not sure what I should do I think its amazing that you have overcome such struggle however I don't think your application for a medical program is the place to celebrate that victory. As if the coming out situation it will get easier to tell more people as you become more comfortable with yourself. __________________ "ideas are bulletproof"

25th Jul 2012, 12:03 AM	#3
Bobbgooduk Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 54 Posts: 703 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: Not sure what I should do Normally, I would be completely open about sexuality, but I would ask you to consider this before submitting your application: Rightly or wrongly, there are still a lot of people out there who associate GAY with HIV and AIDS. Until recently, in the UK gay men were not allowed to be blood donors - it was a simple way of reassuring the general, ignorant public that the blood they were given was "safe". It was assumed that gay men all engaged in activities which placed their blood on the high risk register! I have seen signs in doctors' and dentists' surgeries saying that homosexuals should inform their doctor of their sexual orientation - I suppose so they can wear a body suit and armoured gloves before they treat you. A medical school might not look so favourably on a student who might be "perceived" as a higher risk - if you are "out" you might, for arguments sake, cause a patient to be worried he might catch something off you. Now, I realize that this is all tosh, that it doesn't fit with civil liberties and stuff, but the fact is, you WANT to get into medical school and I'd hate to think that your gayness might be used to disqualify you if it comes down to a choice between you and someone else. Shitty, I know! You success over the odds and your acceptance of yourself are, indeed, a defining moment in your life AND something you can be justly proud of BUT: could you perhaps be really proud of playing trombone in the marching band instead? Just for the sake of your application?