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So confused.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lonewolf77, Jul 25, 2012.

  1. lonewolf77

    lonewolf77 Guest

    Ok, today was bad. I was just starting to be able to be fully comfortable with who I am sexually despite everything that has happened lately. I decided to go to Sacramento to pick up some parts for my computer today and I decided last night that I would meet up with a friend who lives over there. This isn't just a friend; she was the last girl that I crushed on hardcore. However, I haven't seen her in almost 2 years and I thought that my old feelings for her were safely put away. Yeah, I was wrong. Seeing her just brought back all the old feelings I had for her. It was bad. After seeing her and on my way home (which is a 3 hour drive which gave me alot of time to think) everything hit me. My past with her, my present orientation, everything just collided in my mind and I just broke down in tears. How do I deal with these conflicting feelings and emotions and remain sane? Am I so messed up that I can't ever figure shit out? God I'm so damn confused right now.:help::bang::help::bang:
     
  2. Bobbgooduk

    Bobbgooduk Guest

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It might help reduce the confusion if you just accept it's possible to like and love both men and women.

    I think we're just raised to think that we're either this way or that way and it's just not the case.

    I have been married twice and never had any problem in the bedroom department, despite the fact that my "secret" fantasies were always with men, sometimes including my first wife, who would sometimes whisper dirty stories in my ear about us with a guy we both found hot.

    I just found being naked in bed with someone I loved exciting.

    I think you are asking the wrong question of yourself.

    You are the answer, so you have to re-think the question.

    Why CAN'T you still have feelings for someone you loved? Why can't you imagine being back with her and having dirty thoughts?

    WHat stops you wanting to try or have both?

    It only becomes an issue when you start to look for commitment, and there are some people out there who would fit you perfectly - people like you who understand what it is to find both sexes attractive, both exciting, both different but equal.

    That's my thought on your problem - you just need to re-think the question.

    P.S. I know of a couple (married/hetero) who enjoy having a "second man" in the relationship - a regular friend and visitor to the bedroom. It's not the same as one-on-one commitment, but it is a relationship which works for all three.
     
  3. dasazn

    Regular Member

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    Speaking as a bisexual guy, I can say that it's perfectly possible and normal to be really attracted to both guys and girls - I've been crushing on the same girl for the past 8 years and the same guy for the past 3 years, both at the same exact time. As painful as it may sound, you may want to deal with these emotions thinking back over the past and why you had a crush on her and why you feel differently now.

    Good luck!