Is it possible..? I mean, lately I've been having thoughts about coming out..but even if I do..it frustrates that it's probably going to be difficult to find someone who's at least somewhat like me (masculine, gamer/fit & down to Earth). I know some of you will probably gawk at the fact that I listed 'masculine' as a prerequisite, but unfortunately I'm just not attracted to effeminate guys.. Any advice..? Luke. EDIT: Just a bit more info..I'm 19 & currently living in Melbourne, Australia. I also plan on going on exchange to Canada next year (for various reasons..) & I'm hoping I can find someone during my trip I just want a "guy-guy" who I can play video games & go to the movies with.. D:
This kind of thread appears about every 2 weeks; there are gay guys like you all over the place, you'll be fine dude.
Ah, well I'm sorry if I've contributed to the growing thread-problem then! haha. Thanks for the advice man.
Yea I posted one just like this myself when I found the site. X_x...There are plenty of guys like us around....it's just harder to tell if we are gay. =P
Yup, I'm one of them. And like Neutrality said, I think there are plenty of masculine gay guys, you just don't notice them because they're not your stereotypical gay guy... but then again, that's exactly what you said you were looking for in a guy
Trust me there are plenty of masculine gay guys out there. But before you come out, make sure you're 100% positive about doing it. Once you come out the closest, there's no going back.
It's mildly comical, actually. "The only gay guys I see are gay guys that look like gay guys. How do I find a gay guy that doesn't look like a gay guy?" "How about him?" "Well, he seems pretty good. But he's straight." "Are you sure?" "Well, on closer inspection, he seems kind of gay. Hm, now I'm not all that interested in him." If you're only interested in non-gay-acting gay guys, you're going to be forced to 1. go to places where gay guys go (specifically where masculine gay guys go), and 2. make sure people know you're gay and the market...presumably without being "too gay" about it. Lex
Exactly, come find me (I kid, I kid) Anyway, everyone's already said it, but you've gotta go where they'd go. I wouldn't write off feminine gays either though: I'm not personally generally attracted to them, but I wouldn't reject them on sight for being feminine. If you're set on having a really specific type of guy, then maybe online dating is for you. It's an easier way to tell if a guy is gay or not, but then you have to weed through all the ones you don't like (which isn't a great mentality IMO, but to each his own).
Well, when you go to Canada, maybe you could organize a weekly activity for gay gamers. This would allow you to meet people with similar interests. Of course, if an activity like that is already established, that would be even better. But if not, it wouldn't be that hard to set something up. Usually, when there is nothing going on it's because nobody has organized it yet. You should approach it as a way of making friends mainly, and maybe you'll meet someone special as well. But don't turn people away from the group just because you aren't attracted to them.
Everyone has a "type" and turn-ons/offs, but don't box yourself in so much. You say you want a guy like you. What if you find a guy nothing like you at all but fall in love with him? Keep your ears and eyes open. You never know what you'll find.
And.....welcome to EC....Everyone else said it best. They're out there and just as hidden as you - you'll either have to wait until you get enough accidental signs from somebody to make a move or work up the courage to be out enough that your network can funnel one your way.
Calgary's a beautiful city and I love almost everything about it, but it's definately not the best place for gay guys. There's way more in Toronto or Vancouver. Which makes sense, considering they're bigger cities. (If you have the option of moving to Vancouver, do it. )
Look at the places you go mostly, most guy guy gay guy wont say they are gay, but there are some subtle hints on which you can pickup. I am similar to you, I've looked far and wide for the right guy I can play games with, go climb a mountain, do river rafting, bunji jumping or even skydiving. It's a difficult search, but I found the right one for me. Actually one of my hubby's fantasy is to go sky diving naked and having a quicky in the air... I think that'll be awesome myself.
And one of the problems with society is that most think that all gays are effeminate, waring tight pink skirts or very little at all and dancing down the streets of San Francisco. Woof, woof......I don't think soooooooooooo! I'm not saying this is how you are thinking, just society in general. I was a logger in Oregon for 8 years.....do you think anyone knew I was gay, or more importantly do you think I let them know I was. Ohhh now that's scary thought!
If it's Calgary, you got a gaymer right here ;P and I bet you there's tons more.. I was born in Calgary and I can tell you, although it is a relatively conservative place... people are generally accepting if you're gay. It's harder to find it due to the gamer community being more secluded xD
There are plenty of guys like you, I'm a huge gamer and definitely masculine heck I own a firearm store, my boyfriend is a lot like me in the gaming and personality department, in fact he's Canadian lol So don't worry you'll have no trouble finding the kind of guy you're looking for I'm sure :3
My friends and even boyfriends along the way have all said that if I had not told them, or slept with them, they would have never guessed I am gay because I don't fall neatly within the stereotypes. Best thing to do is steer clear of looking at the world around you through the eyeglasses of stereotypes, it will only serve to box you into a narrow field of vision and tastes. There are plenty of guys all around that you will click with that have the personality and traits you feel attracted too, not to mention the hobbies. You may even find someone along the way that falls outside of what you 'prefer', and find out that he is just what you're looking for. So keep an open mind and enjoy the experience, and you'll find a man in no time.