My dad is fighting me being gay all he can. My mom, who used to protect me from him is away with my sister for the week. My mom and sister got into a fight and my dad got all upset over it. He started yelling at me for asking him questions. He got really hostile at one point(not violent though). He just tells me what to do and we have no bond what so ever. It's more like he is the father doing his duty to support his son financially. fastforward. just had a really rough day at work. I get home to my room moved to the basement. My dad sitting on the couch saying all these bs excuses. and he said "you sit in the couch all day". keep in mind i worked most of today. with my mom out of the house to protect where i slept, he took advantage of it. im basically sleeping in the storage room now. and he tells me "you thought we were having a other talk". like he was stating his dominance over me. I really can't go like this for much longer. I do not have the means to be independent yet. WHAT DO I DO? ADVICE NEEDED DESPERATELY!
Bite the bullet, sit down by yourself and figure out a plan for the minimum amount of time necessary to successfully move out, consider a room mate. Write your plan down and follow it - share it with your parents if you think they'll take it in a way that reduces some of the pressure. Unfortunately, sometimes the answer can be hard. You may have left a good chunk of the story out, but this sounds like it really has nothing with you being gay though. Which, I guess, is good.
Well, do you have a place you could stay at least until your mum and sister would be back ? Maybe you've got a friend or a family member that would allow you seeping on their couch for a week if you tell them you're father is giving you a very hard time. And when your mum will be back, you have to tell her what happened when she was away. I hope things will go smoother for you. Take care, Cécile
Assuming that it's at all feasible, I agree with this (you don't need a six-figure salaray, just an lgbt-friendly roommate to split the rent and bills with). I also feel like this is beyond simply not accepting you as gay. Sorry to hear that things are so stressful with your dad. :icon_sad: What does he think will happen when your mom and sister come home and discover he's moved your bedroom into the storage room? Or is this supposed to be some temporary statement of his disapproval? For the moment I suppose I wouldn't interact with him any more than is absolutely necessary. Before you move out, or until your mom gets back and moves your bedroom back to your room (whichever happens first or finally), is there any concrete reason you can't stay in the storage room, as humiliating as it might be? Like, water leaking through the walls/ceiling, bugs crawling all over, too cold/hot? I just want to make sure you're physically okay, if not emotionally okay. You need hugs. (*hug*) Keep posting with any clarifications/updates, and ultimately, take care of yourself.
He hasn't been violent yet, but I feel like we should plant the idea now: if he gets violent, please don't hesitate to call the police, or whoever else you need for help. Just because he's your father doesn't make him exempt from that. They've kinda covered the immediate stuff, so I'm thinking of some other things. Does he act like this with your mom and sister? I only ask because you say they protect you, and I can't imagine they'd do so if they were on his side. If you aren't able to be independent and your mom and sister are being mistreated the same way, maybe it's time to consider the three of you moving out, or moving him out. The only reason I'd think of advising against moving out on your own right away (assuming the conditions at home, while in no way good, are still survivable) is that if he's on a power trip, it could mean bad news for you or your mom and sister. I'm not trying to demean your situation, but I don't think things are necessarily bad enough to constitute getting out immediately, and rushing a decision like that could have some unintended side effects. Though certainly, I think you need to figure something out in the near future. Also, does he know you're gay? It says you aren't out at all. And is he acting like this because he knows (/thinks) you're gay, or is it for other stuff that you didn't mention? But please, take care of yourself. Above all else, personal safety first. If you have to get out, get out. If you have to call the police, do so.
everything has settled down between me and my dad. we talked about it and he said if i do not like the room i can move back to my old one. i am also moving out in 5 weeks to a apartment for college. i basically came out to him lastnight again and i think he knows that he will just have to accept it. so we are on somewhat good terms now.
Well, that's good to hear that things are working a little better. Watch out for yourself though, still.
So much better news! Sorry it was rough (again), but if this is a sign of better times, then I'm very pleased to see it. Moving to your own place (with or without roomie) might be a great thing. Even if things are better-ish, some space for you and your family might be a good thing.
I agree. i will move into my old room next week My dad finally stopped talking about girls and that's a BIG step towards understanding. I was out with a friend and he did not make any remarks on like if it was a date or not. going to start the coming out process to friends when next semester starts
Sounds fantastic! Can't wait to hear how it goes. And good that he's not pushing girls on you still. Interesting that he didn't even comment on the friend. Maybe the second time is the charm?
