1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Gay relationship

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by scheibe, Jul 25, 2012.

  1. scheibe

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2011
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    If you're dating someone who is the one that pays, who is the one that holds the door, who's the one that picks you up, calls you first?, etc.

    Whereas if it's a straight relationship the male does all of those things.

    So I was wondering who'd be the one to be like that in a gay relationship without it being awkward.
     
  2. Gleeko0

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2011
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Haha! I always asked myself that question. Looking forward posts from experienced users here because that one is a hard one...
     
  3. ryanninjasheep

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2012
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In your bed, waiting for you
  4. Mogget

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England
    Usually on the first date whoever asks the other one out pays. After that, it gets negotiated.
     
  5. Kirakishou

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
    Messages:
    551
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    We pay for ourselves a lot, but we also tend to take turns paying.
    I usually feel obligated to pay if I'm the one to suggest a place to eat, but that's just me.
    He always holds doors for me, but I'm not as courteous. xD
     
  6. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,722
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think you just do whatever feels right, each relationship is different, it doesnt just have to one person that does all that.
     
  7. cscipio

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2012
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City
    I haven't had any dates with men; but, I imagine myself being the one that pays just because I'm super chivalrous toward men as well as women.
     
  8. Maddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,633
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Take turns, or whoever has more cash on them. It tends to even out. I'm very much the type who gives a girl my jacket, opens doors, that kind of thing, and I tend to offer to pay.
     
  9. Eleanor Rigby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    Nope.
    Sorry but we're not in the 19th century anymore.
    I've been with my husband for 11 years and most part of the time, I'm the one who pay the bills because I'm the one who earns money the more. I've been the one picking him up because I've been the only one with a driving license for 7 years. Since my husband has his driving license too, we usually take turns on who is driving. I'm the one calling or answering calls at home because he hates the phone. I admit that usually, he is the one holding the doors and carrying the heavy bags (and he is also doing most of the cooking and the washing up... just saying :icon_wink)
    You seem to have a lot of preconceived ideas about what a (straight) couple is. In fact, every relationship is unique. Nowadays, in most straight couple, the partners are considered equal. It's not unusual to have a woman paying the bills and a man doing the washing up... thank God.
    I think you should take a breath and relax. When you'll find someone to date, go for what feels the more natural for you. In an healthy couple, most things are discussed, or if you don't know how to behave, or if you're not feeling at ease with how you're partner behaves, you'll just have to tell them and discuss what would feel ok for both of you.

    Take care, Cécile
     
  10. TrueBlue8228

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2012
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NC
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Well I am in no relationship currently and I haven't had a gay relationship yet to give my expert analysis on, but no matter who the person may be, its in my nature to offer to pay for everything (yea, everyone wants to be my friend, lol!). So my future boyfriend is going to be a lucky man, cuz he's won't pay for a thing...lol


    TB
     
  11. squally89

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    112
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    I have experience dating older men who earns more money than me, but that didn't mean they pay for everything or drive me to places all the time. I bused a lot with them or bus to their place.

    It really depends on you and the other person. There really isn't a typical model~
     
  12. prism

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    749
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Even when I'm dating a guy, I feel uncomfortable if he offers to pay for everything. If someone asks me out, I'd be mad if they didn't pay for the FIRST date, but after that I would go dutch on everything. We live in the 21st century, and he probably isn't making any more than I do, so why should he have to pay for everything?

    As far as a gay relationship, I have never been on a date with a girl. It depends on the couple. One person is always a little more feminine/masculine than the other. I'm more on the feminine side, but I tend to like girls more feminine than I am. I don't know if I'd be comfortable being called the "man" in the relationship (I think that's stupid, we're two women and that's it), but I imagine I would be the one to squish bugs and give my jacket. I think it has more to do with the type of person you are.
     
  13. Neutrality

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2012
    Messages:
    426
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NC
    It just seems to depend, my boyfriend always drives around, but that's cause I hate driving and he loves it...and he usually trys to pay and hold the door open for me...but I make him let me pay some too. =P