So I am gay, but not out yet. I really want to come out, and I just don't know when the right time for it would be. My family is pretty religious and doesn't like gays that much, and I also go to a catholic school. That has been the only reason I have really questioned when the right time would be. Most of the other people I have talked to said that I should wait until I am out if school and more independent from my family. While I do agree with that, I don't really want to wait any longer than I have to. Personally I feel like I am ready, but I just want to know if there is a certain time to wait for to tell anyone really. I understand this is a little vague of my situation, but if you want to know any thing else just ask.
Hi there! If I were you, I would follow the suggestions given to me already as best as I could. That said, you are the best person to judge the situation, and you know as to how your parents could react and the possible consequences of that. If you parents are very religious and you know that they don't like gays, it might be a good idea to wait until you are somewhat financially independent and/or at a college. If you haven't done so already, I think a good fist step would be to start building a support network, which can include friends, and support groups, before coming out to your parents. Do you have friends to whom you are out to and are accepting? Having that support network in place, can help you in dealing with any fallout resulting from your parents needing time to adjust and accept.
I totally agree with everything Mirko just said, you should wait to tell your parents. If they don't approve it could make your situation worse, you should be financially independent, because then that way if you do get kicked out you'll be able to support yourself.
Mirko, I am currently working on trying to get a support network together. I am new to a completely different school again so I am still trying to figure out who my real friends there are and who I really trust. It is an idea I have considered and plan to use, it will just take a little time. Thank you very much for the response and advice. RueBea85, I totally agree. Waiting is probably the smarter idea, I am just a little impatient. Part of it is also because I am starting to have feeling for a guy and I don't want that to conflict with me not being out. But again, I totally agree with you 100%. Thank you very much for the response.
Honestly, there's no right time, nobody can tell you the right time except yourself. Whenever it feels best for you is when you should do it. I would agree with what other people have told you, wait until you're out of school, and when you're on your own, because if your parents are religious and not too accepting of it, and I'd assume that people at school, if they're very religious, wouldn't accept it either, it would be better to wait. That right time is when it feels right to you, whenever you feel like you have the opportunity to say it, you go with your feeling. If you can't wait, then that's the right time, but if you can wait, then do that.
NicoleV96, Totally agree. I am getting tired of waiting a little, but I just need to find that one moment that is right. Thanks for the post.
You could try just adopting an openly supportive stance towards gay people, and see how people react. Sometimes that can give you an idea of what there response would be to you coming out to them.
Ianthe, I generally do, and try to let it show. They don't seem to care much for it, but they do not get angry over it unless I get a little argumentative / defensive with it. Thanks for the post.
For me the right time to come out was when I felt my strongest and the most ready to be myself. As many people will say there is no perfect, ideal time to come out but there are times that are better than others like if your friend is bawling because their grandma just passed away that probably wouldn't be the best time to say "sorry your grammie died and I'm gay" obviously.
