Hello support thread, I'm back. So if you have read my previous posts I came out to mum an she said she would keep it secret. Well I was crushed when mum and I are having a family dinner with my aunt (who is also my godmother) and her boyfriend. So eventually she mentions I'm gay an asks what they think and I am absolutely crushed that she mentioned it after promising to keep it secret, even my Aunt said it was a bit of a private thing to bring out at dinner considering I had only just met her boyfriend and I might be uncomfortable. Of course I was, sure my Aunt was understanding, but her boyfriend said NOTHING, which made me feel much worse. Now I am left wondering if it's not just those two she has told, has she spread it around her work? Has she told all her close friends. Does half of the CITY know?! I really wish there was a way for me to tell her how it made me feel but she might take offense to it. I did mention in a previous post she would want to spread it. What can I do? :/
Hi there! I think speaking with your mum about how it made you feel, is probably your best option, and also the best way of letting her know that you really would like her to keep it a secret (for now at least). It doesn't sound like that your mum did it on purpose or with the intend to cause you distress. If you approach it nicely and try to let her know as best as you can, I don't think your mum is going to be offended or angry. I suspect that she will understand. The good news in all of it is that your aunt seems to be supportive and probably noticed that you were uncomfortable with your mum talking about it. I wouldn't worry too much about your aunt's boyfriend. When it comes to your aunt, try to look at it this way: you have another person who accepts you for who you are.
So my mom isn't the only one to say stuff like that? What a relief. ( -A-) But here's how I would handle your situation. Basically, you need to sit her down and explain to her (politely) that when you came out to her, you trusted her to keep it a SECRET. Explain to her how her telling your aunt at dinner made you feel. Being upfront with her is going to be your best tactic. She needs to understand that you really need her to keep her promise of not telling anyone else. She still loves you, so i'm sure that her bringing up the topic was a complete accident. Maybe she was just thinking about it and accidently brought it up. But, same with what Mirko said: at least you know your godmother supports you for who you are. Plus, I feel as if her boyfriend didn't respond because he may have felt like it wasn't his time and place to say something. I don't think he has anything against you. ( .w.) Stay strong, bro. ( .w.)b
I wish my mum knew and told people, would make my life much easier! I can understand where you're coming from though, it's your coming out experience, not hers.
I understand your embarrassment and the fact that she failed to keep her promise. The fact that your aunt is also your godmother leads me to believe that they are good friends. It must be difficult for you mum too - she might have wanted to talk about it with someone. It's still worng, I know but don't be too hard on her - she's treated you with more respect than many people get. Maybe you need to talk to your aunt now - but I'd forgive your mum if I were you - she's your biggest fan and you need to cut her some slack. :smilewave
