1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Cannot stop questioning myself...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pecker, Jul 27, 2012.

  1. pecker

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2012
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I'm a 24 year old male and have an issue with questioning my sexuality. More specifically, I'm questioning whether I'm straight or bi.

    About year and a half ago, for some strange reason I cannot explain, I started questioning myself whether I'm attracted to other males.

    I started to compulsively overanalyze every male I see on the street, and question whether I'm attracted to him or not. This was usually followed with some common symptoms of anxiety and a general uneasy feeling.

    For a bit of history on me, since the youngest age, I'm strongly attracted to women, and have never had gay thoughts or questions about my sexuality whatsoever prior to the gay thoughts and questions I started having about a year and a half ago.

    As a child, I was like every normal straight kid, had crushes on beautiful girls, and also masturbated a lot to women. I was easily sexually aroused to women back then, and still am. Never ever had the slightest gay thoughts or was questioning my sexuality.

    I feel uneasy all the time because I'm questioning myself, and unsure about my sexuality.
    The question I have in my head is mostly like "Is there any kind of possibility I find this guy attractive" when I see some guy on the street?

    I figured the only way to be sure is by exploring my sexuality. This was done viewing pictures of guys that were good looking, and even by viewing some gay porn, and observing whether they'll arouse me sexually, and If I'll be able to masturbate to the material.

    It was not a pleasurable experience, and I had a hard time getting an erection and masturbating to such content . Still, for some reason, this isn't enough for me to solve the dilemma.

    On the other hand, when I view pictures of hot girls, or straight porn, I get an immediate erection, I'm very easily aroused and have a pleasurable masturbating experience. So it's a night and day difference when i compare the two experiences.

    For some reason in the back of my mind I still am questioning myself. Is there any chance I liked what I saw?

    Could you guys and gals give me some advice, and your thoughts on what's happening with me.
     
  2. jvn95

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2012
    Messages:
    498
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas. Yeeee haaaa!
    I think that you're questioning yourself to hard. I'm younger than you, And I know I am gay because I have fallen in love with a guy, I masturbate to guys, with the occasional straight porn. You are 24, you know that you are attracted to girls, always have, and probably always will.

    Sit, breathe, relax.

    From what you're saying, I think that you are straight, and it seems you do not like guys very much in that way. And If you find that you like the occasional guy, it's OK. You still like girls in the long run and there is no need to worry so much. I think it alot easier to be Bi and straight than being gay.

    I can understand if you are worried and anxious and keep questioning. It's OK to wonder, but look at the facts, You probably are straight.

    Try to calm down.

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  3. blah2

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Going through the exact same thing. I have yet to get aroused by a picture or a sexual act involving two men. However, I find sex with women somehow unfulfilling. I am able to perform the act but something in the back of my mind tells me I'm in denial and would much rather be with a man. But, when I fantasize about men or engage in physical contact I'm not aroused. However, when a girl so much as looks at me, kisses me, or hugs me I more often then not get aroused.
     
  4. confusedlost

    confusedlost Guest

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2012
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    hey ypu described me word by word you sound straight to me... it means nothing from someone like me but uh message me but maybe we could just talk if it helps it will sure help me :/
     
  5. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    I was in a similar situation as you about a year ago, but in the reverse. Since I was 13, I've only liked guys sexually. Preferred gay porn over straight porn. Found watching straight or lesbian porn to be kinda boring. It felt mechanical when I would masturbate to it. Gay porn though will get me aroused instantly. However, last year I began to analyze whether or not I was attracted to beautiful girls. Over the summer I had a bit of anxiety on whether or not I would became aroused by hot girls by the pool or at the beach. Nothing really happened though... I think it's safe to say I'm gay but with a little sexual orientation OCD. That's probably what you are experiencing. You are most likely straight, but have irrational fears or thoughts that you might like be bi or gay. HOCD is the correct word for it. And if you were to become attracted to a guy, would it kill you?