Hey there, Me again.. and I am kinda frustrated with the fact that I can't muster it up to tell one of my friends, and that I dont feel like I can really BE GAY with my best friend who I told and accepted me... I dunno... I guess I just need a summer rant, but I just really wanted this to be the best summer ever. I had planned to tell my father, and it seems I wont. I'm kind of in an "if it aint broken, dont fix it" situation.. I will tell him, i just dont know how good of an idea it is for me to tell him right now... I know it's going to be a huge emotional conversation though, even if he's 100% accepting (which he probably will be) because my mom has known for years now and I havent told my dad, I'm sure he'll see it as a reflection on who I trust more and who I feel I can talk to more... and the upsetting part is that it's actually true. Im just a little confused about who I want to know right now, and when I plan on releasing this info to the entire world... Cant wait 'til this coming out process is all over... :icon_sad:
It is difficult to "be gay" with friends who know you from before you came out. It is much easier to continue being who you were. This does have the advantage that it doesn't alienate them, but it doesn't help you move forward with your life. It is also not always that easy to "be gay" in the company of straight people. They may accept you as gay, but could get a bit uneasy if you start eyeing up guys etc. They will probably think you are trying to emphasise your gayness, when all you are doing is exactly what they do with the opposite sex all the time. It's often easier just to fit in and go along with the crowd. So don't feel too uneasy about that. You will become more confident and less bothered about what others think over time, but it won't be a quick change. It would be good if you could tell your dad over the holiday. Perhaps having your mum there when you do will help, and may reduce the awkward questions from him a bit. He may well have worked it out for himself already, possibly with some clues from your mum's reaction to certain things etc. I see your concerns about how he will view your keeping it from him, but the longer you keep it from him the worse that will get. Since you can't turn back the clock, I reckon you should go for it sooner rather than later. The good thing is that oth your parents are (or will be) fine with this. Not everyone is so fortunate, so do count yourself lucky in that regard. You said "when I plan on releasing this info to the entire world...". In fact many people will be surprisingly unbothered about it. It is a big deal for you because it is about you, but for many other people you know it is not that significant. You may have noticed this from reading other threads here. The coming out process is never fully over. As you change school, college, jobs etc it has to be done again and again. However it becomes much easier, especially when they are new people in your life who never knew you before you came out. Please keep us updated with how you get on.
Wow, I have never had such a thought out, and clear response, thank you. I understand what you mean about other people not caring as time goes on, and I really look forward to that day... but I guess I only meant "all the people who currently know me" when I used the term "the entire world". And even that, I am not too worried about. I guess all I really needed was a good chat in a place where I am accepted, I know I will be VERY fortunate with my supporters, evem my BROTHER (the most rascist person I know) reacted with "whatever makes you happy"... So I guess, short of being a little impatient over how long this is taking, I am really, quite happy, maybe I can get the ball rolling again with my dad this summer...? Thanks for helping me realize how lucky I am, and helping me get through to my next checkpoint in this roller coaster ride... brenton
