Ok, so for those who don't know I came out to my mom in October. I told her I was gay and she was completely fine with it as I knew she would be. The problem is I'm not really gay I don't think I'm more on the bi side. So my question is should I revise what I originally said and tell her that or just leave it. Part of me wants to go with the latter part because she's said I always thought you would just love who you do regardless of gender. But if I bring home a girl one day I don't want her to be like hmm wait a minute... So yeah. Input is welcome =)
Why did you tell her you were gay in the first place? Sexuality can be a tough issue to reason out with yourself, but after 17 years, one would think it would be fairly easy to recognize one's own sexuality. It would've been nice if you'd been sure before you told your mother... no going back now, though, of course. If you decide to "revise" your coming out, it may lead her to believe you're merely going through a phase. My best advice is to be sure of yourself before you end up waffling on what you told her so many months ago.
As a parent, I can't really see the problem between saying you are gay or saying you are bi. I know that gay is you only like same gender and bi you like both... that is clear in my head but if your mum can accept that you are gay she will not mind if you are bi... she just wants you to be happy and live your life honestly. I get the feeling that the prejudice against bi-sexuals is more a homosexual thing than a straight thing if you get what I mean. My son has tried to explain it to me but there is something I am missing here but hey ho! I would definately tell her that you think you are rather bi than exclusively gay, then there won't be any possible misunderstandings in the future. Good luck :icon_bigg
There is a real prejudice against bisexuality in the straight community. First thing people tend to think if you are bi, that you must be having sex with anybody and everybody. If you are young and bi, well it must be "confusion" or a "phase" or you are "experimenting". I think bisexuality is really misunderstood. My advice would be to wait until you are absolutely sure and then talk to your mom.
derek darling, your mom is totally awesome and i dont think she would second guess anything for a minute...unless of course you bring me home to marry her, then she might be like....ummm. her main concern is that you are happy, and if that means revising it to her then do it, and if i means one day you decide that its a girl you want to bring home, she will be okay with that too.
Why not just cross that bridge when you come to it. If you meet a girl, you're not going to bring her home that day... So tell your mom then. Unless it's weighing on you - and if that's the case, then get it off your chest and tell her.
I agree with Jim. And I think Musicman was being a little harsh. I think if you have understanding parents its okay to come out to them if you aren't 100% sure. If you had to wait until you were 100% sure I don't think anyone would ever come out. I think most people will likely second guess themselves for a while once they realize they are gay. Your mom sounds cool derek, so I think even if you told her about where you are know she would be fine with that. Ultimately it is your decision based on how you feel and if telling your mother you are possibly bi makes you feel better then go for it. I'm sure it will be fine with her.