Hi well, iv been confused lately. I need some advice to find out what I am! When i say that i don't mean put labels on myself just to someone analyze what have done to lead me to this point and give me their point of view. OK well lets start Im 15 and i was raised by my mom and sister. My dad wasn't completely in the picture but he was sometimes there. So lets skip to middle school were people started labeling me as gay even though I had crushes on girls. In 7th grade i sorta got pushed into a relationship where we did nothing. I mean nothing not even kiss or hold hands. So yeah the relationship lasted 2 weeks and when we broke up i dint care. For the next year or so I had a few crushes but i guess if I look back now the people I had crushes on were girls with good personalities or they were just pretty but I never felt attracted to them. When I finished Middle school I changed to another school because i dint stand people calling me gay. So when i started Freshmen year i joined Marching Band where I met this girl which was I guess pretty,intelligent, and with an awesome personality but I just wanted to be friends but I also got pulled into that relationship I thought of breaking up with her a lot of times because i wasn't attracted to her but I guess I just thought if I hung up there I would finally be attracted to her. So I was with her 7 months and when summer came I left on Vacation to Canada to stay temporarily with my dad. In this time I guess I over analyzed the situation and thought that it would be better to hurt her now then way later on. OK so that was my relationship part now to my attraction iv always had this attraction to the male body and I guess I sometimes fantasize about them and I even had some that include me in a relationship with them. But however I have this physical attraction to woman but only physical I guess not emotional. So even though you guys think porn is bad I do watch it and I started watching gay porn and it felt way better when I ejaculated. But I also get aroused when i watch straight porn. So these couple of weeks being single I see males in a whole new light I actually check them out and I started watching Queer as folk secretly. Is this a hormonal thing?? Or i just haven't met the right girl?? Or im a gay with a sprinkle of bi??? heaven:help::bang::eusa_doh::dry:
I think you're gay. You are sexually attracted to guys and watch gay porn but not sexually attracted to girls. I think quite a lot of people get confused between finding someone good looking and being attracted to someone. Even though I am gay, I can still see if a girl is good looking but it doesn't mean I want to have sex with her. What you said about "the people I had crushes on were girls with good personalities or they were just pretty but I never felt attracted to them" Gay guys are very likely to have a 'connection' with girls simply because they have more things in common than with straight guys. This explains your attraction to crushing on girls with good personalities. Also being aroused to straight porn doesn't really mean anything. You probably focus on the guy more than the girl? xD
At 15, I felt the same way. I watched heterosexual porn because it made me being gay less of a reality, but really I just looked at the guy the whole time. I convinced myself because I had crushes on girls sometimes, I couldn't be gay, but it wasn't sexual, I just liked them as a person - so more so as a friend. I agree with Lad123 that you're probably gay.
Ugh sometimes I wish I dint ask a question! Well anyways thank you guyz it cleard up a lot but I just don't know how to deal with it! It's like I got one burden off to get a bigger one on me!
Hi there! Well, I wouldn't discount your previous crushes and/or attractions at this point. Attractions to a specific person can come and be initially very strong but over time they lessen, to the point where there is no attraction at all. Now, you have mentioned that you feel attractions to the male body, that you fantasize about guys, and have started to check them out. These in itself are clues that tell you something about your feelings. I would suggest that you explore these attractions a bit more, and try to understand them a bit better. However, when it comes to attractions, and as you are probably realizing we can have different levels of attractions to different people, both emotionally and physically. A part of figuring things out will be trying to gauge how strong these different attractions are. Why were people calling you gay? Was it just in a joking manner, or was it based on what you perhaps inadvertently revealed about your attractions/feelings for boys/guys? At this point, I wouldn't label myself. Keep exploring the feelings that you are experiencing and follow what feels right. Perhaps when you feel an attractions, or think this guy/girl is cute, take a note of it. Over time, you will have built up enough evidence that will point you in the right direction. Don't try to figure out everything all at once, because this will only lead you to feeling exhausted, drained of energy, and perhaps even more confused. Sometimes, it takes a bit of time to find all the answers, and to be able to put names to feelings and attractions. One day at a time.
Well I guess at the beginning it was a joke but as time went on I started puberty late so I guess I had a high pitched voiced until recently and because also I had more girl friends than guy friends!
Those were practically all of the reasons I got called gay, which I denied at the time. My crushes were certainly real, but I was crushing on girls for the wrong reasons, not because I found them attractive. Ultimately you need to answer this definitive question - are you attracted to men? Both sexually and emotionally. I know at my age I'd probably lie to myself when asking that question. Be truthful to yourself and just say yes or no, then put this issue to rest. Accepting your sexuality early is much better than denying it.
