Hello! Let me start by introducing myself! I'm Monique from Los Angeles! I'm 21 and I'm an out bisexual to most of my friends and family. Cutting to the chase, I met this girl in Anatomy class last September. We became study partners, and as we were getting to know each other, I let her know right away about my sexuality, since I like to be honest with people about who I am, always. She seemed very open-minded and explained that she was straight but she makes-out with friends when she's drunk. But she said something weird: that she's straight but who knows if she'll end up with a guy or girl. Anyways, let me also state my friend is beyond gorgeous, with a nice body, but I was not instantly interested in her romantically or sexually at all. I never hit on her. I just don't ever want any of my straight girlfriends to get the wrong idea of bisexual/lesbian friends: that just because we're interested in the same sex, that we're gonna instantly want to get with every single girl. One day she invited me to go out with her friends to a club, and I agreed and came with her. We were all drinking, and somehow her and I ended up kissing. We were kissing again on her friends couch. And she cuddled with me on the couch, and said I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable. And I told her she wasn't. We were kissing again, and she told me that she didn't want me to like her. I told her that i wouldn't, but honestly ever since that moment, I couldn't get her off my mind, but I never wanted to make things awkward so I continued our friendship, not mentioning our hook-up. Another night, we were at a friends house drinking, and I was going to sleepover her house that night. By the time we left the friend's house, I was completely sober, and it had been hours since we drank, so I figured she was pretty much sober as well. Anywho, it was 4 in the morning and she tucked me into bed and she got into the bed with me and I told her goodnight (not expecting any hook-up) and she turned off the light and it was about 5 min. of silence (I pretended to be asleep-but couldn't fall asleep yet) She then randomly asked me if I was wearing a bra..and I said, "Yeah, why?" She said, "You're going to get breast cancer! Take it off!!" And then she proceeded to take it off for me. And then she started caressing my breasts. She stopped, and asked me if she was making me uncomfortable. I told her no and she went on to tell me that she's straight, and girls don't turn her on "all the time" and at the end of the day she likes men and she doesn't want me to bring up what happened tomorrow because it will make her feel uncomfortable. It was a bit uncomfortable for me that she was talking so much, honestly. I just wanted to hook up already and she wouldn't shut up. Anyways, long story short we got very sexual for hours and we did pretend like nothing happened after that. The few close friends that I have told this to, think that she might have had feelings for me all this time, but is too scared to come to terms with her feelings. Another interesting thing that happened: I was over her house and her sister was over. We were going to go to a wedding reception and her sister said to me,"Monique, can you please help your lover make the bed before we leave." I was confused by that statement and proceeded to make the bed. Then my friend looked at me and said, you know my sister thinks I have a lesbian crush on you. And I asked her sister why she thinks that, and her sister said that she didn't know why she thought that, she just did. One last incident with my friend is that I was having a "The Real L Word" premier party at my house, and I didn't think to invite my friend because in my mind she was straight, so why would she be interested in watching a lesbian show? But let me just point out that my friend is a VERY jealous friend and we are VERY close. Another friend pointed out that my friend might be hurt if I didn't invite her. So I told my friend that I wasn't going to invite her because I didn't think she wanted to see a lesbian show. And she said," Honestly I don't mind watching it, and I WOULD be very hurt and left out if you didn't invite me." The next day, she told me that watching the show made her think about Whitney the main character on the show. And she said that this was the first time she had these feelings (i'm not too sure if I believe that) I asked her if she was bi-curious, and she said that she thought she was. I just don't get this girl. She told me her mom thought the hickie she had was from me, and she told her mom, "NO mom what the hell! It's not like that with me and Monique!" Sometimes I feel like she does have a crush on me, but she's SOOOO confusing! Somebody please if you could give me your input! I would greatly appreciate it!
It's not easy coming to terms with feelings like that. It sounds like you are being a very good friend and not pressuring her to do anything. I would say the best thing you could do is continue on the way you are. Talk to her about it if she wants to and hook up if she initiates it. It doesn't sound like she's confused at all when you two are together. She's the one asking if she's making you uncomfortable. Hope this helps!
You know, it is possible she's straight and biromantic, bi-curious, or maybe she found an exception with you. She might just be mostly straight, but she has some homosexual desires (Kinsey 2).
I can see why you're confused by her actions. I think she's probably confused about herself and trying to use you to guinea-pig different sexualities in her head. I think that you should stop hooking up with her, though. If you like her, it's only going to make you like her more and if she's far enough in the closest to insist that she's straight you're just going to get hurt. You should definitely talk to her and say that you're going to be there for her as a friend no matter what, but hooking up with her probably isn't helping either of you.
Sorry but this just made me laugh out loud! :lol: Its just the way you said it. Thats really weird behaviour of her... She only does stuff with girls if shes drunk which could mean that she's in denial about her sexuality. I don't think a straight person would fool around with someone of the same sex multiple times. I agree with what confusedxx said. You're going to end up hurt if you continue to hook up with her.
