So...I'm not sure if this is an absurd thing to ask, but I've felt so confused lately I'm looking for anything to latch on to. I feel like I don't know who I am or what I want and it's killing me to feel so... lost. I hate sex with guys. Absolutely hate it. I've never had sex with a girl but the idea of it seems significantly less awful than sex with guys. If I don't like sex with men, should I be taking that as a sign that I don't like guys? Help, please.
Hey, don't stress! We all feel lost and confused sometimes. Take a deep breath, we're here to help. (*hug*) Sure, it could be a sign. But then again, sex isn't everything. Some people just don't like sex. If you're questioning your orientation though, ask yourself, "Who am I attracted to? Who can I see myself falling in love with?" A guy? A girl? Both?
Hi there! Rest assured, it's not an absurd thing to ask. I think it is quite normal and natural of wanting to latch onto things that help us to define us and give us a sense of who we are. From what you have said, it sounds like that you can (more) easily fantasize about girls than guys, which already is a clue. Build on it by trying to figure out a few things that are not based on the idea of being intimate or having sex with guys or girls. When you see a girl walking towards you, do you check her out? Do you think she is cute? When you think about your feelings and attractions, do you feel emotionally/physically drawn to girls or guys or both? Finding answers to these and other questions, or at least becoming aware of the answers to them, might help you to make things clearer for yourself and allow you to move forward. In figuring things out, remember to take it slow though. Try to follow your feelings and instincts as much as you can, as often times they can be a pretty good guide.