I know things are improving for our community but I have to face to fact that a very large percent of the world still hates us. How can I face that, it feels awful and it is the reason I am terrified to tell anyone. Everyone please be honest with me, how do you deal with it?
From a purely utilitarian point of view, it's an excellent way to find out who to avoid. The type of person who is anti-gay is generally the type of person you don't want to associate with. It'd be great if everyone was pro-gay... but it's only one issue and 95% of them would still be awful even if they suddenly became pro-LGBT.
Honestly, if you're happy with yourself, and you don't let anyone bring you down, then nobody will. If you seem insecure about coming out, and people notice that, they will take advantage of that, but if they see you're confident about it, they won't bother you. That's really the key to dealing with it. If you show that you don't care about what anyone has to say about it, then nobody will have anything to say to you about it. If you show you care, they will take advantage of it, and they will try to hate on you.
I just realize that those who are against us for being us usually have some major problems of their own. Many of them are completely miserable human beings. People aren't homophobic for nothing. (The ones who are are complete :*** I just keep my chin up and realize that my life could be a lot worse. After all, I could be one of them.
Hi there! I don't really let it bother me. I have a rainbow ribbon and a "Proud" button on my backpack. I walk around with it everywhere. If someone says something, I usually just ignore it, and keep walking. But than again, it only happened only a couple of times to me. Reading through your brief post (and between the lines) you are letting something that it is beyond your control dictating your timing for coming out and in fact being yourself. Depending on where you live, and the community you live in, maybe try shifting your focus a bit. If the community you live in is pretty neutral or supportive of LGBT, I'd say try to come out to close friends, and start being yourself. Even if the community as a whole isn't all that LGBT friendly, but you have friends/family who you know would accept and support you, try talking with them. In some ways, coming out, is not only you being yourself around others, but it is also saying: "this is me, and I am okay with who I am. I can not change it, nor would I want to change. I am going to live my live the way it is meant to be, and if you have a problem with it, get used it." That said, there is always a chance that you will encounter some homophobia, even in the most supportive/accepting places. I suspect that part of your fear of coming out, and even though it is related to the wider community, is perhaps your own internal homophobia making itself visible. One way to overcome it, including the fears of 'how will I be perceived and will people like me' is starting to come out to one person at a time. When you come out, you don't need your whole community/world to accept you. The people you want ideally acceptance/support from, are those who are important to you. Everybody else, doesn't matter. Give it some thought.
Whoa, slow down there. Some people aren't tolerant of homosexuality, but there is an even larger community ready to support you (for example, EC), and it's only growing with time. Not that I know anything about your situation or community, but you live in Michigan... not exactly the U.S. South or a country where you'd be sterilized (or worse) if caught. Most regions and cities now have concentrated gay communities. I know moving as a solution sucks, but sometimes it can be even harder to "blaze the trail" in our own communities. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but I know my skin isn't thick enough to do it. Hope this helped! If you find out someone doesn't like you for who you are, to Hell with them. There are over 7 billion other people on Earth.
I would say that a major factor is myself, I am not secure about my sexuality at all. It is incredibly hard for me to deal with. It is human nature to want to be accepted and be part of the group, and that is something that I have never been able to accomplish. I have always felt like an outsider, I just don't want to become even more of an outsider because of this.
Hi there! Start dealing with it. Start trying to come to terms with it, and accepting yourself. Are there any LGBT support groups in your area that you could join?
I wouldn't worry too much about the people who dislike the LGBT community, they're just badly misinformed and ignorant. Unfortunately, you can't control what people are going to say, but you can control how you react to it. And if being gay has taught me anything, it's to be strong; my skin didn't used to be so thick, which left me quite vulnerable. Throughout the years, I've learned not to care about what people think of me. You have to learn that people are going to talk about you no matter what, at least give them something good to talk about. I'm gay and my brother is straight, but I can pick up more women than him (Not that it's some sort of competition) lol. He comes to me for advice about women...ironic lol. I've become more confident by being myself, but you gotta learn to love yourself first.
I have to say I certainly feel a type of kinship with you on this. I've only recently come out, so to speak, and only to my adoptive sister and brother (who are by blood my cousins, so they're still family). Both of them are open-minded people, and my sister told me shortly before I told her that one of my nieces is either lesbian or bi (my sister thinks its the former and that my niece is saying bi because she thinks its more acceptable). I have the unfortunate displeasure of having to live with my parents; my mom's on HOspice, but before she took the turn for the worse that put her on it I tried to tell her; she laughed it off, and I kind of felt hurt. But I decided maybe it was because of depression I was thinking that; as I'm now on prozac, I know that's not the case. My father, as I've said in other threads, is big-time strongly Mormon, strict-to-the-code, and considers the LGBT community an abomination and a perversion of the natural order. I have to listen to him rail about how its all part of the "liberal-socialist agenda" to "tear down our country and put the world under a single government." He's recently entered a radicalist phase of sorts and is one of those rabid believers in the idea that the 'Second Coming' is nigh. Therefore, he goes on and on about every detail that might suggest last days/end times events. Problem for him is that I studied this stuff a decade ago and I counter him every time. But I have had to keep quiet about the things important to me, because if he knew what I was.... well, I think some of you would be able to explain it better than someone who hasn't actually experienced that yet. My sister-in-law's brother came out as gay and his mother treats him horribly because of it, and I know my father would be the same. My biological father is a Christian pastor of some kind and I'm pretty sure that he would react in much the same way. So, how do I deal with the hatred of a world that would like to see me gone double-time, being a bi-sexual and autistic? I say I'm going to prove them wrong, and if they want me gone, they can kill me and go to jail for it. Once I'm able to be on my own, I'll come out in full for the most part, but I'll let my father find out through someone else. No sense wasting my breath trying to talk to him and get him to see reason. He's a religious zealot of the highest order...
It may sound cliche, but by being proud of it. Coming out for some people is mostly a positive experience, but it hasn't been for me. There has been some positive, but ultimately I feel like coming out has been a sacrifice for me, but I'm proud of it because of the good I think it does. All I can do is be a positive role model. If those people want to spend their time hating, then there is nothing I can do about it. In all honesty, anyone who hates me just because I am not a heterosexual, cisgender, individual is an ignorant human being and I do not care what they think. Sure I might rage at how stupid they are, but in all honesty you don't want to be their friend anyway, so you are better off just not caring. There is nothing you can do to change the opinion of people that stuck in their ignorance.
Firstly, I think that we all feel we have something to explain or excuse - I'm different because..... I don't think like that any more, although I have in the past. Even if you still find that hard at the moment, at the very least, you owe YOURSELF no explanation or excuse. You need to accept yourself before you can expect others to accept you. Religion is a matter of PERSONAL faith. Whatever Mormon fathers or Christian pastors say (or Muslim imams for that matter) they are speaking from their own perspective. Whilst they may be convinced how right they are, they are speaking from the viewpoint of BELIEF - there is no proof, only opinion. I can do the same - I KNOW I am gay, I KNOW I am just as good as the next man, I KNOW that their view has no more intrinsic value than mine - it all depends on how much value we choose to attach to them. Many Christian groups escaped the oppression of Europe to follow their faith in America without owing anyone an explanation or an excuse. Freedom of worship (belief) is a fundamental human right. So - if you BELIEVE that you are OK with being gay, you can leave the homophobes and misanthropes to their beliefs and values. Personally, I just wish the haters would divert their energies into something more productive.
