Termination

When should you cut ties with someone you once thought was your friend or you hoped could have become a friend or maybe more but true colours showed soon later?

When is enough enough?

What is enough?

[alTO]

This would really depend on the context. What situation is making you ask this question?

I've thought about this too. I have a friend who I've known for quite a few years. Almost every time we meet up, I initiate it. I sometimes feel like if I decided to wait for him to text me, I would simply not see him again. Despite this, when we do meet up he seems very genuinely happy to see me, which always reaffirms why I put up with his slight "personality flaw," if you will. And our friendship has grown stronger over time.

I don't know if my situation resembles yours at all (it probably doesn't), but I guess at least in my case I'm glad I didn't just give up. I'm sure that could be appropriate in other cases, though.

[TheEdend]

I think that is completely up to you and everyone has different limits.

I'm personally, and this might very well be a flaw, cut people very fast when I just don't "feel" it. I just don't like wasting my time with people I don't like. Granted it doesn't happen often.

In my opinion, if you are asking "when is enough", then its def enough.

[alTO]

Originally Posted by TheEdend

In my opinion, if you are asking "when is enough", then its def enough.

Well said.

It’s guy I like and he told me he liked me but I think he’s afraid to admit to himself he’s gay. When he realized this he talked to me differently on FB or chat or whatever. I want to ask him out but I’m afraid he’ll say no because he’s scared. I’ve waited a year or so for him to come around but his tone hasn’t changed much so I think he’s just not into me anymore (but now, it’s like, “What did I do to make you stop liking me?”). Because we meant “something” to one another back then there is some history and a chance at something great but... I don’t want him to talk to me because he feels he’s obliged to. I’m waiting for him to come around while Mr. Right might be around the corner but how can I be sure this guy isn’t Mr. Right either...I’m more confused than ever. When we used to talk it was great, but now, he’s changed...like, emotionless...

[heaven]

You have 3 options one would be the hardest wich is giving up on him and moving on. Two is I gues the semi hard one but may take guts, talk to him how you feel and take the leap of faith. What's the worst that could happen a no. A the third option is waiting for him wich isn't painful emotionally now for you, but in the long term it's not worth it.

[Bobbgooduk]

If you cut him out now, you've lost him as a friend anyway.

Therefore, what have you got to lose by being forthright and asking him out - one of you has to take the initiative - why not you?


I have people who have only kept in touch because I took the effort to call, write, send Christmas cards etc.

Now I don't bother - I mark in my address book if I get a card from them. They get one strike and they're out - if they miss once, OK but if they miss the next year, I don't bother any more. If they can't be bothered, neither can I.

Going back to this guy - are you only interested in him romantically? Could he not be a friend anyway, even if he doesn't want a relationship with you? Just a thought.

I’d love to be friends with him if we could, confidants even. We live in the same small city in the big city, and we’re from similar backgrounds. It’d be nice to have someone to talk to. But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for him and he once had for me.

[TheEdend]

For your own emotional health, I think the best thing to do would be to start moving on from him.

I know its hard, but you already tried for a whole year. If the guy didn't come around then chances are he never will. I would say to try and stay friends with him, but since you have feelings for him its going to be better for you to just back off for a while.