I feel empty without Religion?

[Neutrality]

This may be offensive to some people but, I think I just finally stopped believing in God. Thanks to Pen and Teller of all people...but, I feel weird now...I feel better on one hand...I'd always felt that me liking men was wrong and I think I might be able to get over that now...but, I feel a little empty and scared...it's like I used to feel like God was protecting me as a kid, but as I grew older religion caused me so much pain...and now that I think I've given up on it I feel kind of like I've lost a protector I guess...even though I know in my rational mind that God was killing me...God was what made me suicidal years ago, not my liking men it was the guilt. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and felt this strange emptiness.

If anyone is curious this is the video that made me finally stop and look at the bible and start to think that it's nonsense. I hope it's ok to post it here.

The Bible - Fact or Fiction - Penn &Teller Bullshit! - YouTube

[prism]

I know many people on this forum are not religious, but I'd like to chime in for the other side.

I'm Irish Catholic. It's how I was raised and how I would classify myself if someone asked. Other than that, it is no one's business and I pray in my own way. I do not attend church because I do not support the corruption within the institution and do not believe in divinity of the Pope. No, I am not a fanatic, and am a passionate lover of the sciences. I do not care what religion others believe in, or if they don't believe at all. It's their business and they should respect mine.

Not all Christians believe that homosexuality is wrong, it is the loud and ignorant few misrepresenting our community. The Bible is an old text that has been edited, torn apart, added to, and retranslated thousands of times, by several groups of people, over thousands of years. I personally believe that the Bible should not be considered the word of God, nor should the stories be translated literally. However, the morals within these stories have made me a spiritually well-rounded person.

No one is a better Christian than another, and no one can tell you that God does not love you because of something you have done. I am a lesbian, but I am a good person. All He asks for is your love and faith.

I hope this helped!

[Owen]

That's definitely a common feeling to feel when you stop believing in religion. There's a lot of negative baggage that can be dropped when you do that, but religion isn't all bad, or else no one would follow it into their adult years. It provides a sense of community and a sense of existential security that can be hard to replicate in a secular way (especially the sense of existential security). The fact that religion caused you pain doesn't mean it wasn't providing you with something, too, and now that that something has been lost, that hole needs to be filled with something less poisonous, something that doesn't make you suicidal, something that won't tell you that liking men is wrong.

There's so much I could say about this topic as someone who thinks about living as an atheist a lot, but I'll try to keep it relatively succinct; you can always PM me if you want me to elaborate on anything.

Strengthen your social bonds. Go out there and spend time with your friends. Cherish those you are close to, both those you are related to and those you aren't. Your friends and family are often your best bet for a non-religious was to find a feeling of security, belonging, and trust in the world. Make sure your friends and family know you appreciate them; it's a gesture that will come back to you in positive ways.

Find something beautiful and serene that you can lose yourself in. It can be the majesty of nature, the expansiveness of the cosmos, the feeling you get when you go for a run, the beauty of listening to great music, the pursuit of knowledge and the pleasure of learning more about the world, the peace of meditation, the presence of a pet, the joys of great food, the welcoming feeling of a local café. Whatever works for you will be individual for you, but whatever it is, find it. And whenever you're feeling overwhelmed, whenever you're feeling pulled down by earthly concerns, retreat to that thing you can lose yourself in long enough for you to find peace again. Ditto for finding something that can inspire you.

Never stop exploring and trying new things. Make new friends. Try new hobbies. When someone invites you to do something you've never done before, do it. Push the limits of your comfort zone. Ask yourself "Why not?" instead of "Why?". This is the only life you get, and the more new things you try and the more you push yourself in new ways, the less you'll regret the way you lived it.

Finally, there's a quote I've always found inspirational that might help you out, too:

"I have concluded through careful, empirical analysis and much thought that somebody is looking out for me. Keeping track of what I think about things, forgiving me when I do less then I ought, giving me strength to shoot for more than I think I am capable of. I believe they know everything that I do and think and they still love me and I’ve concluded after careful consideration that this person keeping score is me."
-Mythbusters host Adam Savage, speaking at the Reason Rally.

Some people think it's narcissistic to think of ourselves as our own gods, but when you look at a lot of the positive things that God is supposed to provide you (a sense of well-being, forgiveness, emotional strength, etc.), they're all things that we can give ourselves if we focus on them, which is exactly what we do when we pray. So if God never existed, but you still managed to get something worthwhile out of believing he did exist, where did those worthwhile things come from?

You. You are the God that you were praying to. And that means you are capable of all of the things you thought he was doing for you when you did believe. Whatever good things God was giving you before, you can give them to yourself. You might have to find new ways to do that (meditation is always a good secular replacement for prayer), but you can do it.

I hope that helps. This is a new way of life you've found yourself in, but a billion people around the world are making it work for them. You'll find a way to make it work for you, and we're here to help you make it work if you need us. Because without a God watching over us, it really is that solidarity that can keep you going.

[Chip]

I don't think people will ever agree on religion. But I'll say that I don't at all believe that being gay and being Christian (or any other brand of spirituality) are incompatible at all.

Some Christian bigots believe otherwise... but there are plenty of Christians who welcome and embrace LGBT people into their congregations.

And there's some pretty solid documentation that some sort of spirituality or spiritual practice is highly correlated with having a happy, wholehearted life, and the lack of spirituality is negatively correlated. Not trying to start an argument, and I'm sure there are exceptions, I'm just quoting from Brené Brown's research.

[SkyDiver]

I've totally been through the same things.

I was angry at God and became suicidal because I was so conflicted about my sexuality.

But, now I'm back on board, and I realized that God loves me no matter what. I think it's absolute nonsense to think that homosexuality is somehow wrong. How could it be? God's gonna punish us for something we can't control?

I really struggled for answers but over the past few months I really feel like God's been telling me... "Hey.. you're okay. I knew you were gay long before you did."

People on here might tell you otherwise... but I encourage you to stay with the faith. Don't harden your heart from a loving God who wants only the best for you. PM me if you want!

[thecat06]

I'm in the same situation that you are right now. When I first started going to church, it saved me from killing myself. I never knew that it would make me want to kill myself later in life...

@Owen: Your post made a lot clear to me. I did not have as many problems when I was at school because I have more friends there and I work in video production. When I come home for the summer, I have a few friends, but not many. I also cannot do as much video production.

I know in my heart that I do not believe anymore. I have to go to church when I am home still because if I do not my grandparents will worry about me. (my parents are non-religious) When I am at school, I don't go to church. I find better things to do. Most of the time, I'll hang out with people, work on schoolwork or work at my job.

I still have those times where I feel empty, but they do not come as much as they used to. (I stopped believing about a year ago.) The main thing for me was I just needed time to adjust. It's a major life change. It takes time to adjust.

If you need to talk feel free to pm me!!

(sorry for any mistakes, I'm typing on my iPad...)

[pinklov3ly]

As I grew older religion caused me so much pain...and now that I think I've given up on it. I feel kind of like I've lost a protector I guess...even though I know in my rational mind that God was killing me...God was what made me suicidal years ago, not my liking men it was the guilt. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and felt this strange emptiness.

During my denial phase I felt just like this ^
It probably was one of the lowest moments of my life, nothing can compare to how conflicted I had become being with gay. I resented God for the longest time, even though he has blessed me with 3 boys. I felt so ungrateful at the time and eventually I became Agnostic. I can remember attending church one Sunday and I just felt completely out of place. I don't know what it feels like to be in a cult, but I instantly felt like I was being brainwashed. My views about God changed drastically once I realized that I had to accept my feelings for women. I just couldn't understand why would he bake me this like this if I wasn't meant to new myself. I feel a lot different now, because I've learned to accept that he doesn't dislike gay people. Religious fanatics tend to misconstrue what isn't technically the word of God. I think it's a form of control.

[Neutrality]

Wow, thanks so much for all the responses, there is alot to consider right now...lately I've just been reminding myself that just a few sentences after the bible says being gay is bad it says that unruly children should be stoned to death...I think that is the part that made me see the book as silly.