How did your except yourself as being Gay?

I accepted myself being gay (when I was still in denial about it) after I realized, "Hey, I have nothing against gay people. I wouldn't like myself any less if I were gay." Once I realized that I wouldn't have a problem accepting myself, I was finally able to accept the truth too. So I guess my story is a little backwards. I had to accept myself before I could come out to myself. That makes your "How did excepting yourself make you feel?" question a bit convoluted in my case, so I'll skip it.

I told two of my friends (both male) about three months after I came to accept my orientation. I just felt like I had to tell somebody, and they were the ones who I was least worried about reacting badly. (my full coming out story can be found here)

Dating? Not there yet, but I'm hoping that won't be true too much longer. I was never interested in dating when I was still convinced I was straight, so actually feeling the urge to go out and find a guy to date is still taking some getting used to (not that I'm complaining).

What is next? Whatever the heck you want it to be.

 

Welcome to EC!

Hey the important thing is that you have acknowledged to yourself that you are gay so congratulations

This is really common for people who are just starting the process of coming out to accept themselves. We are literally brainwashed from an early age that a man and woman should be together, marry and have kids so its more or less expected that we will have internalised homophobia. Don't worry, things will get better.

Last September I realised that I could continue to self-loath for years to come, feeling depressed, lonely and disgusting or I could go 'f*** it! there's no way to change this so I may aswell embrace my orientation' I decided to come out to my sister the following month and it must have been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can remember my heart beating really fast the moments before I told her. She accepted me though and said she still loved me ^^ It was like a huge weight had lifted off my shoulders. There is still a long way for me to go but the important thing is that I'm getting there.

I've not told my friends yet, I'm too scared and I'm not ready for dating.

The first thing that you must do is to accept yourself and hold your head up high. It is the only way to move forward. You must learn to love who you are otherwise you will just be depressed all the time. I completely understand the internalised homophobia as I've been there (I think most of EC has) but you can't let this go on for your whole life. Everyone deserves to love and be loved back.

Then you may want to come out to someone who you can trust. Is there a sibling or best friend that is trustworthy? Just take baby steps, you don't need to come out to everyone all at once.

Lastly If you're having trouble accepting yourself it is a good idea to see a therapist, particularly one that is familiar in lgbt issues. Talking to someone about it can be really beneficial. Stick around EC and surround yourself with like-minded people

Stay strong! (*hug*)

 

Well, accepting myself as gay (finally) felt elating (and still is), and then even more confusing than before in a lot of ways. As far as telling friends, my best friends are my brothers, so they knew pretty quick (as in I told my brothers, their fiances and my parents in about 3 days). In a lot of ways I think I came out too fast. I told all of the most important people to me in less than 72 hours and I was left with a "Cool, and now what?..." feeling. It's sad to say, but I don't have a ton of friends outside of my family, so I really haven't had to cross that bridge yet.

As for dating, well... I've been trying but I am extremely anxious. I have trouble letting new people into my life, but the best advice I can give is to just get out there. Anywhere from online to attending gay-friendly events, just get out there if you feel comfortable.

As far as what's next, I sincerely wish that someone would just tell me that, frankly... But I do know that you have to dip your toes in the water, and if the temperature's right, jump in! It's overwhelming, but despite that there are a ton of new options available on the social scene now, the only way to find your place is to try them out.

I definitely agree with Lad123 that you just need to surround yourself with like-minded people, as hard as that may seem.

Congratulations on taking that HUGE first step, even if it feels a touch wobbly. I have hope that we will both find our way, it's just a matter of letting time do its thing.