Ok so I have a special needs son who gets home health out 20 hours a week. I am not ready to fire him because I have serious health issues of my own, its hard to find anyone who can handle my son and he is very good with him. Thing is I'm really close to coming unglued on his homophobic behind. I thought I had made it clear to him that just because I'm republican doesn't make me anti gay and that I won't have my kids learning to hate others just because they don't have stars on their bellies...or whatever. Then today my son puts on a shirt and his sisters rainbow tutu. I'm praising the kid for dressing himself and he chimes in watch out the pride crowd is going to want pictures. I was so upset all I could really say was no, assuming they knew his challenges I think they'd praise him for dressing himself. So anyone got anything stark, witty, extra to throw back at him? I also have to have another serious talk with him tomorrow so positive thoughts are appreciated :-/
Well since this person is working in your own home, or at least I assume by the sounds of it, you have every right to tell him you don't like his homophobic comments, especially around your child and would appreciate it if he kept that to himself.
Yes of course, I think my problem is that I have this crazy idea that if I leave a little room open for dialogue he might one day change his mind. I'll talk with him once more tomorrow and then with the agency if necessary.
Perhaps, you should tell him how you feel and referring to him as the help seems misplaced. He's helping your son and you're receiving the benefit, as well. If he's troubling you, perhaps you should have him replaced.
I feel I should apologize. I was trying to come up with a short title not be ugly and didn't realize till I thought about it later how it can sound really bad. Other than this particular issue, M is a very valued member of the family, great with my son and will be hard to replace.
Hi Figure! I think you should start with the positive. You say he's great with your son - tell him that! Tell him that you really appreciate the care that he takes and that your son is able to listen to and respond to him. Tell him that you couldn't manage without him and you can't express enough how grateful you are for having him help with your son. BUT You accept that he has opinions about certain issues but they conflict with your own and you don't want your son to be confused. The carer has to respect your wishes as he's working in your home, but I see no harm in telling him that you DO appreciate what he does but would like him to be more careful about expressing his opinions to your son. The carer is a professional and, although he is working in a home-setting, he should behave in a professional manner and not bring conflict into the home by expressing his opinions. It sounds heavy put like this, but I think he will respond better if he knows you value him and don't want your son to lose him.
