1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Approval from parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Max630, Jul 31, 2012.

  1. Max630

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago
    Gender:
    Female
    Hey,
    So this is only my 4th or 5th post here but I'm looking for some advice. I'm 22 years old and am living at home with my parents and younger bro until I finish school in december. I've recently moved home and my parents have been on my case about how I dress. I admit I am more of a tomboy, always have been, and probably always will be. Lately my parents (mostly mom) have been telling me that I am not dressing like "a girl my age" and I need to start. I typically wear shorts or jeans and a nice shrit (like a polo or a guys fitted t) when i go out. And since it's summer right now I am basically in a t-shirt and running shorts most days. I am in no way sloppy and I do care about my apperance. I will be the first one to admit that I am NOT girly. I just have never felt comfortable being a girly girl. I grew up with brothers and was (and still am) really into sports. My parents are just not understanding that this is who I am and they can either take it or leave it. I have tried to change myself in the past (high school until a year or two ago) but I just can't pretend anymore. I just don't know what more they want from me. I am an honor student, played a division one sport, I have a part time job, and I have been told that I am a good person...I just don't understand why they feel the need to tell me how I should be dressing. I am 22 years old and I love them, but it's time for me to grow up and make my own choices. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation or have any advice about how the approach my parents on this issue? Btw I am not out to my parents at all as questioning...probably closer to gay.
     
  2. Max630

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago
    Gender:
    Female
    is anyone out there?
     
  3. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    I can't say I've ever been in this situation, but I think that since you're not out to your parents, that's playing a role here. I think that she's expecting you to "dress like a girl your age" because she wants you to start looking for a boyfriend, settle down, that sort of thing. Which, from my impression, probably isn't what you want for yourself. I think it's time that you seriously start considering coming out to them in the not-so-distant future. Not right now if you're not ready, but within the next year or so, perhaps.

    As a more immediate fix to the problem, just say that you're 22 years old and you'll dress however the hell you want to dress because you're an adult, not a little kid, and in all honestly your parents should already know and respect that at this point. If she's not still buying your clothes, tell her that when she's paying for your wardrobe, she can complain about what you're wearing. My parents used to complain that I spent too much on my clothes, and then they shut up when I started buying it all myself.
     
  4. Max630

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2012
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago
    Gender:
    Female
    @Kidd- yeah now that you mention"she wants you to start looking for a boyfriend and that sort of thing" that makes complete sense. I have thought about coming out to them for some time now and have been so close on occasion, but I just can't seem to find the right moment and I just don't know how to go about telling them. I do agree that that is def part of the problem though. Thanks for the advice!