Um what am I???

Hello, you are no monster. Unless, you like Lady Gaga? =P

It is good to hear that you have made some progress in your self discovery. Hopefully with time you are able to comprehend and understand more about yourself, right now take everything slow, but try not to just forget about the bad. It is best to tackle problems head on, just like football (you wouldn't run the opposite way, would you?) you tackle the linebackers.

I think it is speaks a lot about you accepting that you bullied people in order to make you feel better; now may be a good idea to start being nice -this is a much better way to make you feel better of yourself.

Now, do you see yourself living with a guy? Do you feel emotionally attracted to males? Or is just physical? Does your mother's stance in regards to homosexuality make you not want to be a homosexual/bi?

 

It looks like you have subconsciously retracted from girls and am trying to analyze your feelings. And it could also be a blessing that you are sorting out your sexuality now, before a wife or kids would be effected. I do hope everything goes well with you and just remember you are not alone man.

 

Well do you love women, men, or both? Which gender(s) can you have a healthy sexual and loving relationship with? Do you fantasize about men, women, or both?

 

Mhh Okay, uhm being a homosexual is not all about the sex. Yes, it is different from heterosexual sex, but that doesn't mean that it defines being a homosexual. From what I understand you may be bisexual, perhaps? Do you see yourself forming a household with a male? Or a female?

Well you know your mother best, and it is entirely up to you to decide whether to keep in touch with her. Talk to your sister and see what she thinks about this situation... after all she has gone through a similar situation. Good luck!

PS: Lol Nice analogy.

 

well good luck man.

 

What is on your mind?

 

It will take time to figure yourself out man. it will take time and i know you don't wanna read that. but that is what happened with me and a year later im finally coming to terms with who i am. everything will work out, trust me.

 

What confuses you exactly? If you feel like you are pan what specifically confuses you?

Also, don't you think you may be rushing too fast? A label is just a label, yes it may bring assertion to you, but regardless of the label you are Jeffhack. Labels won't change that. If you think you are "gender blind" go with that thought and explore it more. I think that it is good that you are trying to define your sexuality; but also remember that it is not set in stone, as with time -when you are more calmed and aware of yourself- I think you may change your sexual orientation (or it may not change at all). Do you dislike the idea of being pan?

 

It is good that you are open to the idea. Also, keep looking for the answers you may have. Don't let doubt build up or let the bad go(and just put in the back of your thoughts). It may take time, but try not to settle down if you have doubts that have the power to shape the rest of your life.

 

Jeff!

Congratulations on your journey so far!

I think a lot of us here recognize the need to have an instant answer. An answer usually satisfies an immediate need, or provokes another question which will lead you there quickly.

Sexuality, for some people, is a simple question to answer, wither because they just "know" and are happy to accept it, or they question and decide on the balance of probablitity.

I understand completely about you feeling that the person is more important than their gender - that is totally how I feel, although I am more confortable with men sexually.

I see nothing weird in you finding women attactive AND men too.

And I think you are already a long way along the road if you identify that what you are looking for is not gender-specific - you are looking for "someone" who will treat you well, be respectful of your needs and treat you with dignity.

Which gender that person turns out to be is irrelevant.

My only words of caution would be not to rush things - sometimes there is no quick solution - and that when you think you've met someone you think might be good for you, you are honest with them and explain your dilemma. I think that they deserve your honesty AND the fact that you have chosen them is a great bond between you.

Good luck, be patient and be honest with yourself.

 

I just want to make sure that you're thinking romantic as in "that's really, really attractive to me" rather than the same way someone thinks "well, all the movies have rose petals and candles, and that's really romantic... maybe I should try that...". Though I guess the two coincide to some extent.

I want to echo what someone said in that maybe you're taking this a little fast. Nearly all of us know the feeling of wanting to have it all figured out, don't get me wrong. But the thing is, a label really is just a label at the end of the day. For me, I knew I was gay, but couldn't bring myself to use that word. To get the ball rolling, I had to start telling myself that "I like guys" whenever the thought came by. My acceptance of the word gay came along later.

Anyway, the point of that was is that you don't necessarily need a label, though it brings a lot of comfort for some people. If you want to start coming out or something, you can always just refer to yourself as "liking guys as well as girls" or "gender isn't a big deal to me" or something.